id CECIL B. de MILLE 






fmi^^mmi^^mxmm 



fSAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St» New York 

4 



THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. 

The famous comedy in three acts, by Anne Warner. 7 males, 6 
females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2% hours. 

This is a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aunt 
Mary," "Jack," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England an- 
cient maid of all work; "Jack's" three chums; the Girl "Jack" loves; 
"Joshua," Aunt Mary's hired man, etc. 

"Aunt Mary" was played by May Robson in New York and on tour 
for over two years, and it is sure to be a big success wherever^ pro- 
duced. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. 



MRS. BUMSTEAD-LEIGH. 

A pleasing comedy, in three acts, by Harry James Smith, autbor of 
"The Tailor-Made Man." 6 males, 6 femaJes. One inicricw sceae. 
Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

Mr. Smith chose for his initial comedy the complications arising 
from the endeavors of a social climber to land herself in the altitude 
peopled by hyphenated names — a theme permitting innumerable com- 
plications, according to the spirit of the writer. 

This most successful comedy was toured for several seasons by Mrs. 
Fiske with enormous success. Price, 6© Ceats. 



MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 

A most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt aad ■Wil- 
liam Morris. 5 males, 4 females. One interior scene stands through- 
out the three acts. Costumes niodern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

"Mrs. Temple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there is 
an abundance of fun without any taint of impropriety or a«y cle- 
ment of offence. As noticed by Sir Walter Scott, "Oh, what a 
tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." 

There is not a dull moment in the entire farce, and from Ac time 
the curtain rises until it makes the final drop, the fun is faM and 
furious. A very exceptional farce. Price, 6Q Cents. 



THE NEW CO-ED. 



A comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of *TQtQpeet and 
Sunshine," etc. Characters, 4 males, 7 females, though any number 
of boys and girls can be introduced in the action of the play. One 
interior and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one iwte- 
rior scene. Costumes modern. Time, about 2 hours. 

The theme of this play is the coming of a new student to the col- 
lege, her reception by the scholars, her trials and final triumph. 

There are three especially good girls' parts, Letty, Madge and 
Estelle, but the others have plenty to do. "Punch" Doolittle and 
George Washington Watts, a gentleman of color, are two particularly 
good comedy characters. We can strongly recommend "The New 
Co-Ed" to high schools and amateurs. Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produccdl 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street. New York City 

New and Explicit Descriprive Catalogue Mallut Frti 8> 



\\ 



THE GENIUS 



A Comedy in Three Acts 



By 

WILLIAM C. and CECIL B. de MILLE 

Copjnight, 1904, By William 0. de Mille and 
Cecil B. de Mille 

All Rights Eeserved 



CAUTION; — Professionals and amateurs are hereby 
warned that "THE GENIUS," being fully protected 
under the copyright laws of the United States, la 
subject to royalty, and any one presenting the play 
without the consent of the authors or their author- 
ized agents, will be liable to the penalties by law- 
provided. Applications for the acting rights must be 
made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th St., New 
York, N. T. 



SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHEB 

2i~30 Wist 38th Stbmt 
Ksw Yo«K 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Lt». 

26 Southampton Stber 

STRAND 



75 



3£-o 



Sspecial notice should be taken that the possession of 
this book without a valid contract for production 
first having been obtained from the publisher con- 
fers no right or license to professionals or amateurs 
to produce the play publicly or in private for gain 
or charity. 

In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading: 
public only and no performance of it may be given 
except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 
28-30 West Thirty-eighth Street, New York City. 

Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for profit 
shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or 
who shall knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such 
infringement, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemea- 
or, and upon conviction shall be punished by im- 
prisonment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine 
or not less than one hundred nor more than one 
thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the 
•ourt. 



Act of March 4, 1909. 



- i I 2 -x I, 
2 3 






i 



THE GENIUS 



CHARACTERS 

Jack Spencer ^ ^^**- 

Victor LeMercier - - - A Painter. 

Otto Vogelsburger A Musician. 

Brian McGonigal - - - A Sculptor, 
Percival Clutterbuck - A Connoisseur. 
Cyril Farquhar - - - -A Would-be Artist 
Cyrus Jenkins - - - - A Business man. 

Nell Graham A Model 

Josephine Van Dusen - A Dilettante. 

Lilly Scott A School Girl 

Mrs. Van Dusen - - - A Mother. 
Miss Trevor ----- /4 Society Girl 
Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe A Lady. 

FhACE :-New York City. 
TiUE:-The Present. 



THE GENIUS 

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 

ACT I:- 

Studio of the three artists on Washing- 
ton Square. 

ACT II:- 

Studio of the Genius on Fifth Avenue. 
Two weeks later. 

ACT III:- 

An Art Exhibition room. One week 
later. 



THE GENIUS 



SCENE '.-Studio of Otto, Victor and Brian o» 
Washington Square South. A dingy, hare^ 
looking room. Windows hack R. c. and L. c 
Door to bedroom R. 3 e. Door to hall l. i. b. 
Stove R. I. E. Platform made of dry goods 
boxes at back between windows. Plain tahli 
down R. c, with three dilapidated carved oak 
chairs. Piano in upper left hand corner. 
Piano stool in front of it. r. c. Easel with 
unfinished picture of Cleopatra. Stool in front 
of easel and stand left of it on which are 
brushes, palettes, etc. Revolving sculpture 
stand L. c, with unfinished figure of Cleopa- 
tra in clay. Left of this a small stand with 
sculptor's tools and modelling clay. 
In front of l. c. windows a box on which arci 
musical manuscripts and two or three bound 
scores, r. of r. c. window a box on which are 
plates, cups, saucers, sauce pans, etc. (/«- 
framed pictures are hung on the wall wher^ 
ever possible. One or two pieces of ragged 
but artistic drapery over windows. A bust 
in plaster on piano. Large cast of human arm 
on wall. View through window shows Park 
and Washington Arch. Shade drawn over 
window R. c. but up on the other. Floor of 
room unpainted with a couple of worn-ont 
rugs. Plaster casts about room. 
7 



8 THE GENIUS 



DISCOVERED :-At rise empty stage. A moment's 
pause then Otto enters from ». 3 E. He is a 
large, portly German about forty years old. 
He wears his hair fairly long, and has a jolly, 
good-natured face. He is dressed in old 
trousers and flowing tie and has on an old 
long red dressing gown. He speaks with a 
strong accent. He yawns as he comes in, and 
crosses to xvindow i. c. 

Otto, (Looking out of zvindow) Sol Voiic« 
more der sun. (Crosses to box up r. and takes a 
tin cake box; out of it takes a coffee box which he 
opens, looks into and holds upside down and^ 
shakes.) Ve haf squeezed it dry. (Takes out tea 
box and does same business.) Null und Toid — 
(Takes out Uneeda wrapper and peers into its 
depth.) Empty is der cradle — (Putting it down.) 
So much for der larder — ^now for der treasury — 
(Comes down to r., side of table and sits emptying 
his pockets. He takes out an assortment of small 
things and lays them on the table. While he is doing 
this Victor enters r. 5 e. He is a thin, nervous 
Frenchman, and is dressed in faded trousers, a 
negligee shirt, no tie, and a dilapidated velvet jacket. 
He crosses to window and looks out. He speaks 
with a French accent, and, at present in very mourn- 
ful tone.) 

Victor. (Looking out of window.) Ah, Otto, 
haf you seen xc Sun? 

Otto. (Still searching his pockets.) Ja. 



THE GENIUS 



( Victor crosses to box up r., examines the emfty 
boxes which Otto has left open, picks one up 
and shakes it; then comes down l. of table 
emptying his pockets. Otto has found a pipe 
and soms tobacco. He fills the pipe and begins 
to smoke while Victor is emptying his pockets, 
and during this, Brian enters from door R. 
B. He goes at once to the empty tins, ex- 
amines them and then turns, comes down he- 
hind table, starting to empty his pockets; he 
is dressed in old trousers, shirt and vest, wears 
a linen collar and has his sleeves rolled up — 
he does not wear a coat — he is a young Irish- 
man, a gentleman, and speaks with a slight 
accent, but not a regular brogue. As he starts 
to sit the others stop him.) 

Otto. Wait, Brian, you didn't look at der sun. 

Brian. And what's the use of looking at the 
«un? You can't eat it. 

Victor. (Dolefully) He is all we hare in ze 
house. 

Brian. I say, Otto, you had three dollars 
yesterday. 

Otto. Ja, my sohn, but I had to pay der piano 
rent. 

Victor. And so we have a piano for breakfast. 

Brian. (Turning to clay stand and removing 
covering on figure.) I'd rather have coffee and 
rolls. 

Otto. But I must haf my piano; I am not yet 
juch a genius dot I can compose a Sonata on der 



10 THE GENIUS 

window sill. 

Victor. In short, my friends, we are again, as 
zay say in zis country, "up against him." 

Otto. Ve haf been "up against him" so long I 
should think he'd be tired. 

Brian. (At stand.) Well, cheer up, boys. Luck's 
got to turn soon. 

Otto. Dot is all a mistake; der only kind of 
luck dot is sure to turn, is good luck. 

Victor. He is right. Brian, we have come to 
ze end. 

Brian. {Back of table) Oh, buck up, boys, the 
darkest hour comes just before the dawn. 

Otto. Veil, I guess dis is one of dose Arctic 
nights vich last six months. 

Brian. (Crosses to piano) There must be 
something we can sell. (Looks and point over at 
music on piano) 

Otto. You needn't look at dot Wagner, because 
I simply won't do it. (Brian ci'dsses c.) I sold 
der Italian composers, und der French composers, 
und Schubert, und Chopin — ^but I von't sell dot 
Wagner until — until dinner time, anyhow. 

Brian, (c. pointing to picture on zvall r. ) Well 
there's that "Summer" of yours, Victor, the dealer 
offered you five dollars for it. 

Victor. (Starting to his feet) Ah, sacre bleu! 
Five dollars for ze masterpiece of my life — ^non, I 
will starve; I will die wiz my arms around ze pic- 
ture — five dollars ! (Stands looking at picture R. 
crosses r.) 

Otto. (Brian goes to easel) Also! Don't get 
excited! It improves der appetite. Now — 



THE GENIUS ii 

(Pointing to cdst of arm on well) Dot Angelo cast 
of yours, Brian — 

Brian. (Comes center) I say, we discussed 
that before. I brought it all the way from Florence, 
and Vm not going to sell it for a meal — ^that goes — 
(Snapping his fingers) like that! 

Otto. Ja — ^but, it's such a comfort vile it's going. 

Brian. Will you toss up and see which of the 
three things goes? 

Victor. NON, I will starve! (Sits — hack of 
table) 

Otto. I vill not for two reasons ; firstly, I von't 
put der immortal Wagner on der flip of a coin; 
second, ve haf no coin to flip. 

Brian. Then I guess we'll cut breakfast, and 
wait for something to turn up. (Sits) 

Otto. (Striking light for his pipe) Der first 
thing dot turns up vill be our toes. 

Brian. Well, come on, boys, let's get to work 
and forget ourselves. (Starts modeling. All three 
up and start working) 

Otto. (Crossing to piano) I am going to com- 
pose a symphony to hunger. 

Victor. It is almost time for Nell to come. 

Brian. By jingo! I forgot Nell. (Victor crosses 
at back of easel) I say, how can we pay her for 
posing ? 

Otto. (At Piano) Don't get excited, der is a 
von dollar bill in my hat band. 

Brian. In your hat band? 

Otto. Ja. I vos afraid I might forget it vas 
Nell's salary. 

Brian. She mustn't know how hard up we are, 



12 THE GENIUS 

if she did, she wouldn't take a cent from us., and 
it*s about all she has to live on. 

Victor. {Up r. c. and down c. Going over and 
bringing plates etc. to easel.) Ah! she will not 
know. I will paint ze remains of food on ze plates. 

Brian. {Crosses to Victor) Victor, my boy, 
you're a bit emotional, but at times you're a positive 
genius. 

Victor. {To work painting plates) Perhaps, 
but zere is no money in being a genius. 

Brian. {Back to clay) That's true enough; to 
be successful here one must be fashionable. 

Otto. {At piano writing music) Ja. If we 
tould get dot Perc'val Clutterbuck to make a few 
nice speeches about us, it would be easy. 

Brian, (r. c.) Percival Clutterbuck! Why, 
he doesn't know the difference between a Michael 
Angelo and a Michael Flaherty. 

Victor, (l. c. Sarcastically) Ah, but he is a 
iconnoisseur. What he praises ze people buy. 

Brian. Well, I hope he praises this stuff of ours. 
{To Otto) He is coming this morning to look at 
it. 

Victor. "This morning"? 

Otto. Don't be alarmed, he ron't like it — it's 
too good. 

Brian. Cheerful thought, eh, Victor? 

Victor. It is true. I would have sold zat 
"Summer" — {Points to picture R. ) for a thousand 
dollaire, if he had not said it was bad. 

Otto. Say, children, ve von't talk about him, it 
makes me so mad. I can't compose anything but 
discords. 



THE GENIUS 13 

Victor. Ah, here! (Crosses c. showing plates) 
We have been enjoying bacon and eggs. 

Brian. By Jove! Victor, they're great. I feel 
as if I had been eating Jhem! (Victor crosses to 
table) 

Otto. So much for imagination I don't. 

Victor. {To easel) Otto, you haf no romance 
in your soul, you miss ze finest part of your life. 

Otto. I miss my breakfast, all der art in der 
vorlds cannot take der place of von little mutton 
chop. 

Brian. (At stand) Otto, ye're no idealist 

Otto. My sohn, Idealism has its boundaries, und 
breakfast is outside der limit. Ideals belong in der 
head. Der digestive apparatus rejects dem with 

scorns, und means "Ve cry for chops, — und you 

give us ideals." (Outside a whistle in heard. Sieg- 
fried's call. All men sigh) 

Victor. Ah — It is Nell. (Otto answers 
whistle ) 

Brian. (Victor and Brian stand C.) Now 
look as happy as you can. ( The halldoor is opened 
and Nell enters. She has on a long ulster-lik^ 
garment which covers her dress underneath. She 
has a paper package in her hand which she lays on 
stool c.) 

Nell. Hello, everybody. (Kisses Otto) You 
boys are up early this morning. (Crosses to c. 
Victor and Brian look uneasy) How long have 
you been through breakfast? 

Otto (l. c.) Since half past eight o'clock — 
(Aside) — yesterday, 

Nell. (c. noticing dishes) Ah, but the dishes 



14 THE GENIUS 

haven't been washed — (Tucking up her sleeves) 
Well, I'll do them for you. {The three men look — 
stop her) 

Otto. No — not now, let dem wait. 

Nell. No, indeed. Haven't I brought you up 
better than that? (Starts for the dishes. They 
again stop her) 

Otto. Vait — don't touch them. 

Nell. Why what on earth is the matter? 

Otto. Vy — you see, ve are just thinking of oui 
inspirations — und don't vant to talk about dishes. 

Nell. Ho — ho — ^tell that to the papers and not 
to me. (She starts to cross to the plates amid wild 
glances from the three men. To Otto) I know 
what it is. You've been eating something that I've 
forbidden. (She sees the plates and takes one up. 
Looks reproachfully at each of the three men who 
cannot meet her eye. Victor posing stand) 

Otto. (Sits on piano stool) Ja. You see — 
Victor and Brian, dot is, some von told dem — dot 
oil paint — ^had a peculiar flavor — und — 

Nell. (Shaking her head) Oh, boys, boys, 
why didn't you tell me before? 

Brian. Tell ye what, Nell? 

Nell. That you were down to your last cent. 

Brian. (Crosses up to posing stand) No, we're 
not. Here's Otto now, has so much money his 
pockets won't hold it. He has to keep it in his hat. 
(He takes Otto^s hat from piano and extracts a 
dollar bill from hat-band. Half holds money to 
Nell then joins Victor) 

Nell. (r. c.) And you've been giving me 
money every week — 



THE GENIUS 15 

Victor. But it was economy, any other model 
would haf cost twice as much. 

Nell. (Crossing to Otto) And I'm very angry 
with you. 

Otto. (Brian crosses to sculpture) I don't see 
vy? 

"^"^ELL. Why! Because you haven't treated me 
fairly. You give me my share of all the good things, 
and I want my share of the troubles, too. 

Otto. But trouble is peculiar, because der more 
you give to other people — der more you've got your- 
self. 

Nell. You promised my father that I should 
be like your own daughter, and yet the minute 
things go wrong you don't tell me a word about it. 

Otto. Nell, ven I first came to America und 
vas really hard up, your father had nothing him- 
self but he gave me half of it, and afterwards he 
gave me der best gift of all ; der little girl who has 
made sunshine in der life of three poor devils who 
are happy as long as she is happy — 

Nell. And the only way you can make her 
happy, is not to keep things from her. 

Brian. Sure Nell, we don't keep things from 
you. If it weren^t for you there wouldnt' be a 
button on any of us, but what's the use of worryin' 
you with business and money and all that? 

Nell. (Crossing to Painter's stool — gets pie) 
Well, I'm going to heap coals of fire on your head; 
what do you suppose I've got for you? (Taking up 
paper parcel — to c.) 

Brian. A sofa pillow — (Nell shakes her head) 

Victor. A lace <centre-piecc — (Nell laughs — 



i6 THE GENIUS 

goes down l.) 

Otto. Vait — I bet it's a pair of slippers for dear 
old man — 

Nell. No, better than that. A pie! 

Victor & Brian. "A pie?" 

Otto. Ach Gott! {The three men come down 
eagerly) 

Nell. I made it for you myself — {Gives pii 
to Otto. Crosses l.) 

Otto. (Brian and Victor rush for pie) A pic! 
{Holding the pie) Hold on! Von at a time! (Otto 
to table. Brian to stool for compass. Victor to 
easel for rule. They bring out compasses, measure 
and divide the pie on table R.) Look out! A little 
more dis vay — too much, etc. {To Nell) You will 
haf some, Nell? 

Nell. {Laughing) No thank you. My doctor 
has sat down on pie. {The three men eat with 
signs of delight) 

Brian. Nell, you're the queen of cooks. 

Victor. Mais oui — {Holding up piece of pie) 
I eat your health. 

Otto. {Eating) Dot pie is a symphonic poem — 

Nell. Oh! What did the publishers say about 
the Sonata? 

Otto. Dey vare very kind in pointing out 
der defects. It seems, der first part is too much 
like Grieg; der middle suggests Richard Strauss, 
und der last movement is taken almost entirely from 
Wagner. 

Nell. But it isn't at all. {On easel stool) 

Otto. I have been apologizing to dose three 
masters ever since. 



THE GENIUS 17 

Brian. I say, Otto, why don't ye do something 
popular as a pot boiler? 

Otto. It's no use. I tried to — I started to com- 
pose a rag-time song called '*My Moonfaced Baby," 
but after der first few bars, I said: No! If I must 
die — I vant an easier death. Ach Gott ! Der dreams 
Ihad— 

Victor. Ah ! Some day we will get even wiz zc 
public. 

Nell. Don't blame the public. It's not their 
fault, poor dears. They're ready to like your work 
if the experts would let them. 

Brian. Don't say that, Nell. If you once admit 
the public has any taste, what becomes of the 
hundreds of bad artists, whose one excuse is that 
their work is too artistic to be popular? 

Otto. Hold on! I object. {Rise) Der conversa- 
tion is getting too near home to be enjoyable. Let's 
get to work — (Nell Crosses u. c. Otto crosses 
to piano. Victor to easel) 

Brian. All right. Come on, Nell. (To model- 
ing stand. To Nell.) Lend us your head — 

Nell. Are you ready for me? 

Victor. Please. (Nell goes to platform, rt- 
moves her ulster, and appears in costume of Cleo- 
patra. During the next scene she poses for the two 
men) 

Nell. Who's first? 

Victor and Brian. Mine, please. {They look 
at each other) 

Victor. Oh, all right, after you, my dear Brian. 

Brian. Thank you, my dear Victor. {Outside 
an automobile is heard to come up) 



i8 THE GENIUS 

AUTO HORN L. 

Victor. {Up to window l. c. Putting up shade 
of window) I say, zere is an automobile in front 
of zis house. 

Otto. {At piano) It*s not mine. 

Victor. {At window) Zere is a man coming in 
here. 

Brian. Is it Clutterbuck? 

Victor. Non. 

Otto. Ach Gott! Maybe it's a patron. Come 
boys, get busy. {The three men start to work, foot- 
steps are heard outside, then a knock at the door. 
Victor starts to open it. Otto stops him. Otto, 
in a whisper) Hold on! Let him knock again. 
{The three men at work. The knock is repeated) 
Come in. {The door opens and Jack Spencer 
enters. Young, healthy American type, dressed in 
a long automobile coat) 

Jack. Good morning, gentlemen. 

Three Artists. Good morning. 

Jack. I'm looking for some artists. I saw your 
cards outside and thought I'd consult you. 

Otto. So ? Vot is der name of der artists ? 

Jack. Oh, I'm not particular — ^you are artists, 
aren't you? {To c.) 

Otto. We are trying to convince der public of 
it. 

Jack. Well, do you ever take pupils? 

Victor. {Rising from easel) Sure. (Otto 
pulls him down into stand) 

Otto. {Frowns at him and puts on air of in- 
difference) Oh, ve sometimes take a pupil, dot is, 
if he tinks he has promise. (Victor comes down 



THE GENIUS 19 

wid sits left) 

Jack. Well, if you'll take me, I'll promise any- 
thing. (Brian comes d.) 

Otto. So you vant to study Art? 

Jack, (c.) Yes. 

Otto. (To Jack) Also! Vat branch? Painting, 
sculpture, music? 

Jack. What is the cheapest? Oh, it doesn't 
matter to me — I'll study whichever I can learn 
quickest. The point is, that I have got to have some 
art, and I've got to have it P. D. Q. (Victor rises. 
Brian down d. c. The three artists look at one an- 
other) 

Otto. But, my dear sir, although art is suppos- 
ed to be feminine, she cannot be wooed and won 
in a week. 

Jack. Well, I don't know anything about it, but 
I thought that if I worked hard, I might pick up 
enough in a month to get along with. 

Otto. Von month ! Du lieber Gott ! Do you 
know what Art is? 

Jack. No. That's just what I'm here to learn. 

Otto. But vy are you in such a hurry? 

Jack. Well, it's rather a long story, but I guess 
if you'll hear it, I'd better confide in you. 

Otto. Sure, ve'll hear it. Ven a man vants to 
learn Art in von month, he must have a story worth 
listening to. 

Jack. By-the-way, I forgot to introduce my- 
self. My name is Spencer — Jack Spencer. 

Otto. Happy to meet you. Mine is Vogelsbur- 
^er. (Shake hands) Dis is Mr. McGonigal, Mr. 
Le Mercier und our ward Miss Graham. (The 



20 THE GENIUS 

two men how. Jack offers to shake hands) 

Brian. Look out! I've been making mud pies. 
(Jack shakes his wrist. Brian to chair l. of iabU. 
Victor crosses to Jack) 

Victor. It is a great honaire. 

i\ELL. Shall I be in the way? 

Jack. Not on your life. I should like to have 
you stay, if you don't mind. You see my case is 
one where a feminine mind might be useful — 

Otto. Besides, Miss Graham is a full partner 
in all ve do — so now for der story. (Jack crosses 
to sculpter's stool, Nell to posing stand, Victor 
brings piano stool down l. Otto brings painter's 

stool L. C.) 

Jack. (Offering cigar's) You don't mind, Miss 
Graham? {She shakes her head. To men) Then 
try one of these — {To Otto ayid Victor) — 
they're not bad. (Jack, Victor and Otto light 
cigar) 

Victor. {Aside to Otto — showing cigar) Save 
ze band. 

Jack. Will you have one too? 

Brian. Thanks. 

Jack. I didn't catch your name? 

Brian. McGonigal. 

Jack. That's a good old Irish name, isn't it? 

Brian. It is that. 

Jack. {Taking off coat) Can I trouble you, Mr. 
McGonigal ? 

Brian. No trouble. {Takes coat and gloves) 

Jack. Well, of course, there's a girl at the bottom 
of the whole business. 

Otto. {All sit) Sure! 



THE GENIUS 21 

Jack. And this girl's a rattler, intellectual, 
brainy, and all that sort of thing, but a fine girl in 
spite of it. Now, I'm not much on the sentimental, 
but I haven't thought of anything but that girl for 

a month. You see, when a chap's fixed the way 

I am— nothing to keep him busy — lots of cash, and 
no people of his own, there's only one thing to do. 
Otto. Ja — get some people of his own. 
Jack. Just so — but now we come to the plot. 
This girl has got what she calls an "artistic tempera- 
ment." Of course, you know what that is. {Move- 
ment from the others) 

Otto. {With a sigh) Ja, ve do. 
Jack. Well, there's another chap in the game, 
he's sort of an amateur art critic, writes for the 
papers and all that ; he's what is technically known 
as my hated rival. He's a good natured sort of an 
idiot, but, of course, he plays the artistic tempera- 
ment gag for all it's worth. Affinity of souls and 
all that, and, consequently cuts lots of ice. Now, 
Art and temperament and affinities and all that are 
not my long suit. I'm an ordinary sort of chap, but 
I think a lot of this girl, and as she won't touch 
anything that hasn't got an artistic finish, I thought 
it was about up to me to learn some Art. So I got 
up early this morning, and here I am. 

Otto. I suppose everybody in der vorld runs 
up against some sort of critic. What is der name 
of yours? 

Jack. His name is Clutterbuck! 
Three i\RTisTS. {Jumping to their feet) What! 
Clutterbuck ? 

Jack. I said Clutterbuck. Not dynamite. 



22 THE GENIUS 

Otto. Dot Clutterbuck, he is der man what 
queered us vit der public! 

Jack. Oh, you know him? 

Brian. Know him ? 

Victor. Mon Dieu! 

Otto. Don't say a vord; if it is Clutterbuck 
you're fighting against, count us in it. 

Brian. We're with you. (Nell on L. corner of 
posing stand) 

Victor. To ze death. ( Three men — Their 
chairs up close to Jack) 

Jack. Well, that's fine ; now what art can I learn 
quickest? I don't wont it thoroughly, you know, 
just enough to do a little. 

Otto. But do you expe^ct to learn an art as if it 
were poker? 

Jack. I don't know, I never learned poker — I 
always knew it. Come, there must be some Art 
that isn't so hard. 

Victor. If zere is, I haven't found him. 

Brian. Nor I. 

Jack. Music isn't so hard, it is? Just learning 
where to put your fingers? (All move their stools 
a little away) 

Otto. Ach Gott! Don't! (Nell amused. Vic- 
tor and Brian amused) 

Jack. Well, what am I to do then? 

Otto. Dot is der problem. 

Brian. Nell, you're the brains of the party; 
what's to be done? 

Nell. (Coming down, standing zuith head on 
Otto's shoulder, between Brian and Victor)^ You 
say she has refused you? 



THE GENIUS 23 

Jack. (Rises) Quite emphatically. 

Nell. And just because you're lacking in artistic 
temperament ? 

Jack. That's the only reason she gave me! 

Nell. Don't you know anything about Art? 

Jack. Only that the most expensive kind is hand 
painted. 

Victor. (Springing to feet and going to easel) 
Mon Dieu! 

Jack. (Looking at Victor surprised, then at 
the others) There must be some way out of it — 
some kind of "Art in twenty lessons" scheme. Art 
while you wait 

Nell. Does the girl herself know much about 
art? 

Jack. You bet she does — why I can't understand 
half she says. 

Nell. H'm ! Let me think. 

Jack. (Rising) Let her think! I would rather 
have her think, than you talk. 

Brian. {All take seats back) While you're 
thinking, do you mind posing a bit more? (Brlaw 
at stand. Victor at easel. Otto at piano. Jack 
down l. c. ) 

Nell. Can you sing, Mr. Spencer? 

Jack. I only tried it once — the next day I moved 
(Nell to posing stand — back to table) Believe me, 
I've tried every way I can think of to develop some 
genius. (Crosses r., sits l. of table) 

Nell. Oh — genius — will that do? 

Jack. Why, yes ! 

All Three. (Turn) "Oh"! 

Jack. I thought a genius was a chap who could 



24 THE GENIUS 

do great things without half trying; a man who has 
a pull with the Muses. 

Victor. Mon Dieu! Non! A genius is one who 
can please ze critics and ze connoisseurs. 

Brian, (c. modeling stand) Sure. A genius is 
a man who pretends to be above the small things of 
life, so that someone eles will do them for him. 

Jack, (r.) But isn't a genius a man of inspira- 
tion? (RL^es — to R. c. — front of table — leaning 
against it) 

Otto, (l.) No, he is a man of perspiration. 
All dot inspiration I ever heard of came from hard 
work, from sorrow und pain. Dese chaps vat sit 
down und half a pipe dream und den write about 
it, dey are not geniuses — dey are damn fools. 

Jack. But the world calls them geniuses. 

Nell. (Change the pose for Brian) The world 
has two standards for genius ; a man must either 
make money, or be some kind of a freak. 

Jack. Well, I've got lots of money. 

Nell. Did you earn it yourself? 

Jack. Some of it. 

Nell. How ? 

Jack. Good investments, coppering friendly tips, 
and not spending any principal, and keeping out of 
life insurance. But that doesn't seem to count for 
a hang with her. 

Nell. No, that's not quite what I meant. 

Jack. Then suppose I try being a freak. I can 
let my hair grow — act as if I never saw anyone, 
and learn how to sigh, and look wild-eyed. (Walk- 
ing L. back R.) 

Otto. Dot might do it. 



THE GENIUS 25 

Nell. But you'd have to talk art, and you can't. 

Jack. You three men all do things; why aren't 
you geniuses? Now look at him — he's wild-eyed, 
ain't he — 

Otto. Because ve haven't made money, und ve 
are not freaks. Now, if I could compose, und paint 
und model all at once, I'd be a genius. Even if I 
couldn't do as good work as we are doing now. 

Jack. (Going) Well, then I'm very sorry that 
there's nothing for me to do — but — by Jingo ! (All 
stop work) I've got a scheme — I see how I can 
become a genius. (Come c.) 
Otto. (l. Victor and Brian: ''You a genius") 
A genius? 

Jack. Yes, only I'll have to have your help. 

Otto. Also vat is der scheme? (Brian and 
Victor down. Nell crosses c.) 

Jack. If it works, it will not only make me a 
genius, but it will make you rich men. 

Brian. Sure, we've no objection to that. 

Jack. You say your work isn't appreciated — 

Victor. Non. 

Jack. You need money, and I need fame, now 
why not make a partnership in which we divide the 
proceeds — you taking the cash and I the reputa- 
tion. 

Otto. Vat sort of a partnership? 

Jack. Why, like this — as the great American 
genius I'll put my name to your respective works. 

Brian. Holy ginger — 

Otto. Our reputation — 

Victor. Ze undying fame we work for — 

Jack. Now don't get excited — You haven't any 



'26 THE GENIUS 

reputation now, but as pupils of Spencer the Genius, 
you'd have the world at your feet. 

Otto. By damn ! Dot's so. 

Brian. Wait a bit — wait a bit. I haven't 
swallowed it all yet. 

Jack. WHY, it's easy — I am the Genius, you 
are my three private pupils — and get all the pro- 
ceeds. It's just a little advertising scheme to get 
your work before the public — 

Otto. But how vill der public know — 

Jack. Ah, they must know what they don't 
know. (All turn away — thinking) You see Clut- 
terbuck — (All turn back) is always looking for 
the new and unusual. All we have to do is to let 
him discover us. He'll boom me for all he's worth 
to make his own reputation. In a few weeks my 
name will be a household word and Josephine will 
be glad to take me. Don't you see how simple it is ? 
Why there's nothing to it. 

Nell. Suppose we get found out? (Otto sits 
R. of table) 

Jack. But we can't get found out if we all stick 
to the agreement, and you coach me up a bit. What 
do you say, men? 

Victor. (To easel) It will serve ze public right. 
I will do my share. 

Brian. Faith ! I can see opulence just lying in 
wait for the crowd. (Offering wrist for Jack to 
shake) Count me in. 

Nell. And you. Otto? 

Otto. (Crosses to Nell c.) I don't want to 
split hairs, but don't you think der is something 
about der scheme that an unsympathetic world 



THE GENIUS 2^ 

might call cheating? 

Jack. Why, you are the only ones who are 
cheated. The world gets the same work in any 
case, and what difference does it make to them 
whose name goes with it? 

Brian. Sure. Otto, it's just a sort of a joke. 

Victor. A good joke zat will make us all 
millionaires. 

Jack. And besides, all's fair in love and war, 
and this is both. We don't hurt anyone and we 
gain everything. 

Brian. And we get even with Qutterbu'ck. 

Otto. (Rising) Dot's so. I forget; veil, you 
better count me in der game. (To Piano) 

Jack. Good work! Well then here's a hundred 
to bind the bargain — (All ''hundred") Then our 
motto is, "E pluribus unum." 

Nell. Yes, United we stand — 

Jack. And divided — Oh, Lord! say — of course, 
you men mustn't get tired of this arrangement. 
(Men down) If you go back on me, I'm caughf 
with the goods. 

Nell. They mustn't. We must have an oath 
of secrecy and allegiance. 

Jack. That's the stuff. 

Brian. Sure, the scheme's gettin' into me blood. 
I'll swear to anything. 

Jack. Well then, conspirators! Come hither! 
(Men draw together. Solemnly) You swear never 
to go back on me, and I'll swear never to go back 
on you, and we'll both swear never — (All swear 
never to go hack on each other) — ^unless we all 
agree. Do you swear? 



28 THE GENIUS 

Three Men. {Holding up their right hands) 
I do. 

Jack. (Holding up his right hand) And so do 
I. 

Nell. (At window. Quickly) Here comes 
Mr. Clutterbuck and two ladies. (All back to 
work) 

Jack. (Rushing up to window) Why! It's 
Josephine and her Mother. (Otto down r. Brian 
to stand) 

Otto. Vat are dey coming for? 

Jack. (Coming down c.) I remember now. 
Clutterbu'ck said he'd bring them down here to 
show them how romantically artists live. 

Otto. Dot damn Clutterbuck! Does he tink 
ve are vild animals on exhibition? 

Brian. I wonder how they'd like it if we intro- 
duced ourselves in their homes to see how the four 
hundred live. 

Victor. (Shrugging his shoulder's) Zey do not 
know any better. 

Jack. (On posing stand) Besides, Mrs. Van 
Dusen is great on Art. (To c.) 

Nell. (At window) They're coming in. 

Jack. (Crosses r. c.) Well, get me out of the 
way. I mustn't be found too soon. 

Nell. Does anyone know you're down here? 

Jack. No. 

Nell. (Down to Jack) Then this is your 
chance to be discovered at work. 

Jack. But great Scott! I don't know my part; 
I'll make a mess of it if I try it so soon — give me 
a little more time. You see I expected a few days 



THE GENIUS 29 

to get ready. 

Nell. (c. excited) You'll never again have 
so good an opportunity. 

Brian. (Excited) All right! the game's on. 
Fix me up in some of your things, boys. 

Nell. Quick ! boys — some clothes ! ( The 
artists rush off r. c. getting clothes for Jack. They 
get him rigged up in a non-descript sort of way, 
part painter, part sculptor and part musician. Vic- 
tor removes coat from wall down r. and gives Jack 
velvet jacket he is wearing) 

Jack. (Taking off coat) Any old thing will do; 
they must be nearly here. Watch the door some- 
one — (Nell to door) Say, how do I get into this 
thing? (Putting on modeler's tunic) Oh, I thought 
it was a skirt. Here's something — (Putting on 
Turkish fez from Victor) By Jingo ! If they 
don't think I'm a genius, it's not the fault of the 
clothes. Say, tell me some artistic terms. 

Otto. Pizzicato. 

Victor. Tone color. 

Brian. Foreshortened. 

Otto. Andante. 

Victor. Background. 

Brian. Perspective. 

Otto. Con amore. 

Victor. Treatment. 

Brian. Finish. 

Jack. Hold on, you win, that's enough. I can't 
learn the whole Bohemian language in five minutes. 

Nell. (At c^oor) They're on the next landing — 
Hurry up — 

Jack. Great Scott! I'm getting stage fright. 



30 THE GENIUS 

{Up c. three men bring him hack) (By the tail of 
tunic) I know I'll get all balled up. 

Nell. (At door) Just put on a bold front and 
fake it through. Are you ready? 

Jack. (Each to his work) All right, here she 
goes; get busy then. (Repeats to himself terms 
the three men have been telling him. The three 
men start zuorking, each at his own art. Jack 
turns his hand through his hair. Nell to posing 
stand. Jack puts on a zvild look. Nell takes her 
place to pose. Otto is making a noise on the piano. 
knock is heard. Jack calls) Come in. (Door 
opens admitting Percival, Josephine and Mrs. Van 
Dusen. Percival is rather an effeminate type, and 
Josephine affects the ultra-artistic. They stand in 
astonishment, looking at the scene. Jack is careful 
not to look at them, and rushes around from one 
artist to another running his hands through hi^^ 
hair. Looking alternately dreamy and frenzied) 

Jack. (At piano) That's better, Otto, that's 
better, but take out that pizzicato and play it more 
con amore. (Over to Brian) Look out! My dear 
boy, that dimple is too much foreshortened! And 
put that chin more on the bias. (Arranges Nell 
in awkward attitude. Over to Victor) Not bad, 
not bad! your tone color is better, but you lack 
finish. A softer treatment you see — (Making wild 
passes in front of the picture) Like this — softer, 
softer — just a touch of light here. 

Josephine. Why, its Jack Spencer! 

Clutterbuck. Impossible ! 

Mrs. Van Dusel. Mr. Spencer would scarcely 
be giving directions to artists. (Otto strikes 



THE GENIUS 31 

chords) 

Jack. Ha ! Otto, what was that last chord vou 
played ? 

Otto. A diminished seventh, master. 

Jack. Yes, that's not right; take off about two 
sixteenths more. (Victor and Brian conceal 
laughter. Jack rushes toward Brian. Percival 
at centre) 

Percival. I beg your pardon. I — (Jack faces 
him, and stops transfixed with amazement) It is 
Jack Spencer. (Jack to c.) 

Jack. {Pretends to start) Discovered, by 
Heaven!- -After all these years! (Turning fiercely 
to the artists up c.) Boys, boys, why didn't you 
warn me? 

Brian. Pardon, master, pardon- 

Mrs. Van Dusen. Mr. Spencer, what is the 
meaning of all this? 

Josephine. You told me you knew nothing of 
Art. (Crosses to Jack) 

Jack. (Sorrowfully. Down to c. to her) Yes, 
that is the one lie of my life, but I had a motive for 
it. 

Josephine. Yes ? 

Jack. Since you have discovered my secret, I 
may as well tell you all. I take no credit for what 
I am ; it was a law of nature that I should be gifted 
far beyond the lot of the common herd — but at 
heart I am a mere man, and I knew the world; I 
knew that if any should know me for what I am, 
I would be lionized, feted, worshipped — that I 
could never be sure of a friend. Affection for the 
man would be lost in admiration for the genius, so 



32 THE GENIUS 

I dissembled. I pretended to be no more than the 
ordinary variety of man. Ah, Josephine, when you 
rejected plain Jack Spencer you did not know that 
you were losing the greatest artist of the century — 
the all around, long distance champion of Art ! But 
I don't want to talk of myself. These three boys 
are my pupils — ( They rise and how) — and they 
can tell you better than I can what I am — {Turns 
aside and makes signals to the others) '— which my 
natural modesty forbids — that's going some. 

Percival. (To Otto) Is this true? 

Mrs. Van Dusen. Wonderful ! 

Otto. Let his vork speak for him. (Pointing 
to picture on wall r.) There is his latest painting. 
(Mrs. Van Dusen. Percy and Josephine all rush 
R. to picture. Artists applaud Jack) 

Percival. (Crosses to painting) But it's signed 
Victor Le Mercier. 

Jack. Yes, but now concealment is useless. 
After this I shall sign all the work myself. 

Josephine. (Crossing to Jack) Oh, Jack, why 
didn't you tell me? I 'can see the artistic tempera- 
ment — (Jack — looking around "where?") — in 
your eyes. 

Jack. (Pretending to control his grief) There, 
Josephine, I do not blame you. If you could not 
care for the man — the artist would soon pall, but 
what is done, is done. (Turns away in grief) 

Percival. (At picture r. Josephine back to 
picture R. c.) But this is wonderful! The treatment 
has all the fine points of Rembrandt! (Victor in 
testacy — hack to easel at picture R.) 

Mrs. Van Dusen. The tones remind me strongly 



THE GENIUS 33 

of Rubens. 

Jack. Yes, it is a cadenza after Turner. Oh, it's 

only a short study; it's quite unfinished. 

Percival. {To Jack c.) But such work belongs 
to the world. It is wrong to conceal it Let me 
show the American public that a great artist is living 
in their midst. {Crosses to r. Josephine) 

Jack. As you will ; it is all the same to me now. 
{Crosses l.) 

Mrs. Van Dusen. {Crosses L.) Mr. Spencer, 
Fm afraid we've misjudged you. If you permit 
me, I'll make arrangements for a reception to you 
at my house. {Crosses c. to Otto. Jack bows) 

Percival. {To c. Rushing over and taking 
Jack's hand) My dear fellow, if I had only known ! 

Jack. Yes, yes — but don't disturb me now — 
this is my busy day. 

Percival. Well, I'll see you this afternoon. We 
must get this in the papers before anyone else gets 
ahead of us. {Crosses l.) 

Jack. Yes, yes — but no fuss, please. I hate t 
fuss — Besides you're disturbing my atmosphere. 

Mrs. Van Dusen. We won't disturb you any 
longer. You'll dine with us tonight — quite infor- 
mally. 

Jack. {Absent mindedly) Er — Er — thank 
you, thank you, I shall be delighted. 

Mrs. Van Dusen. Come, Josephine. 

Jack. Oh Josephine, discovered, and after all 
these years! 

Josephine. {Crosses l. Aside to him) You'll 
be sure to come, Jack; seven o'clock. 

Jack. If my work prevents, I'll send word. 



34 THE GENIUS 

(Looks at him wistfully, and joins her mother) 

Percival. . Good bye. (Jack removes fez; they 
start to go) By Jove! I've discovered the great 
American Genius. 

Mrs. Van Dusen. We both discovered him, Mr. 
Clutterbuck. 

Josephine. Ah — but I felt it all the time. 

Jack. Let's see, Otto — where were we? Oh, 
yes, two sixteenths and a diminished eight. {Turning 
toward Otto stops at sight of Victor. Suddenly 
catching sight of Victor* s work) No, no, my dear 
boy, you have no perspective in your conception; 
you need more andante — see here — {Grabs brush 
and palette from him and makes a few wild strokes 
across the picture) More like this — 

Victor. {Screaming) Ah — look out, look out ! 

Jack. {Backing him, c. By this time Percy, 
JOSEPHINE and Mrs. Van Dusen have gone out, 
looking very much impressed and talking excitedly 
to each other. As the door dosses) Never mind, 
old man, IVe ruined your picture — but Pm a 
genius! {Crosses center — laughing wildly) 
-:- Curtain -:- 



THE GENIUS 35 \ 

ACT II 
Time. — Two weeks later. Afternoon 

SCENE -.-Studio of the Genius on Fifth Avenue. 
A luxurious room of the fashionable artist 
type. Door to hall l. 3. e. Large hay windows 
with rich curtains hack c. Platform for posing 
R. of zvindows. Piano and stool l. of zvindows. 
Stand of armour l. of platform. Large screen 
it of platform — stand of armour hetween 
screen and r, 2. e. Couch down r. Divan l. 
Table and two chairs down l. c. Handsome 
modeling stand and tools r. c. Easel, stool 
and stand with painters* implements L. c. 
Music-stand zvith music l. of piano. Every- 
thing is in direct contrast to Act i. Paintings, 
weapons and many useless hut ornamented 
things adorn the wall. 

DISCOVERED :-C«rfam discovers Otto, Victor 
and Brian. Otto on couch r. c. with news- 
paper and shears. Victor at table with two 
large scrap books, is pasting in notices which 
the other two cut out and hand to him. AH 
three men are stylishly dressed and have a 
general atmosphere of well-fed opulence. 
Otto is smoking a large German pipe. Vic- 
tor and Brian both have cigars. 

Otto. Ach Gott! — boys, listen to dis von — 
(Reads) "Clutterbuck on Spencer, the distinguished 
critic explains the novel methods of the Genius! 
Mr. Percival Clutterbuck, whose recent discovery 
of the wonderful young man, has been the talk of 
the town for the past two weeks, explained yester- 



36 ' THE GENIUS 

day to our reporter the facts connected with his 
discovery. It appears that Mr. Clutterbuck has 
known the young painter; sculptor; musician 
for years, but has been keeping the knowledge 
secret, in order that he might the better guide and 
direct the talents of the wonderful young man. 
(Victor crosses r.) The invaluable help that Mr. 
Clutterbuck must have given the Genius is apparent, 
when we consider that not one of our critics has 
found a single fault with his work. (To the others) 
Now, wouldn't dot make you smile? (Cuts out 
notices and gives to Victor with notices already 
cut out, he crosses l. of table) 

Victor. Non, it is more to weep. 

Brian. Sure, there's no suitin' some people {To 
Victor) Here ye are rolling' in the lap of luxury, 
smokin' Havana cigars and with two fat bank 
accounts, yet ye wear a face like the divil on Ash 
Wednesday. 

Victor. I haf sold my honaire. 

Brian. And you've sold it for more than it's 
worth. (Goes c.) 

Victor. (Rising) Brian, you insult my honaire — 

Otto. Now, don't get peevish. I see vat he 
means. 

Brian. Don't ye see we're just following the 
business tendency of the times — 

Victor. (Subsiding) Vat do you mean? 

Brian. We've just formed a little company, 
that's all. Now suppose we had formed the 
company to make scissors and knives and razors, 
-^nd called ourselves "The Spencer Cutlery Co." — 
and suppose you made the scissors, and Otto made 



THE GENIUS 37 

the knives and I made the razors. Why, then we 
wouldn't think it wrong to stamp the name "Spen-. 
cer" on every piece of work we turned out. 

Victor. But zat is business — zere is no honairc 
in business — 

Brian. Sure, it's the same in Art, we've formed 
a httle Art Company, that's all, and the things we 
make, instead of being stamped with the names of 
the workmen, are stamped with the name of the 

firm. , 

Otto. By tam! Brian, Kant himself couldnt 
prove better dot something was nothing — here — 
(Giving him notices) Put dis in der Clutterbuck 
book. (Otto gives it to Brian who crosses l. to 

table) 

Brian. (Back of table. Looking over Victors 
shoulder) We've got Clutterbuck hard and fast, 
he can't deny that Spencer's the greatest Genius of 
the century, without giving himself the lie a thous- 
and times over. 

Victor. Zat is ze one consolation. 
Brian. And after all, boys, we're helping a poor 
devil v/in the girl he loves. We can't help it if we 
become rich men while we are doing it. 

Victor. But he is taking no steps to win ze fair 

Josephine — ho has not been to see her for a week. 

Brian. That's the foxiness of the boy, don't ye 

see he's giving his greatness a chance to sink in? (A 

knock on the door l. 3. E.) 

Otto. (r. c.) Come in. My we got an early 
caller, yes. (All sit at their places) "Come in, 
Come in." (The door opens and Percy enters) 
Percival. (Coming c. Looking around) Ah, 



38 THE GENIUS 

good morning, boys. 

Three Artists. Good morning. 

Percival. (c) Hasn't your master appeared 
yet? 

Brian, (r. c.) No, not yet. 

Victor, (l) Ze mastaire had a very busy day 
yesterday. 

Otto. (r. c. coming down) Ja, and der poor 
devil — (Victor coughs) I mean our dear master 
is finding der calls of Art almost too heavy. Ah, 
Mr. Clutterbuck, you should have considered well 
before exposing to a clamoring public a nature so 
delicately temperamental as that of Mr. Spencer. 
{Sitting on settee) 

Percival. I had a duty to perform, and I did 
it, but I beg you will not call him Mr. Spencer. To 
give the common title to a character such as his 
sounds as strangely as would Mr. Angelo, or Mr. 
Rembrandt. (Up c. a little to examine picture) 

Brian. But we call you Mr. Clutterbuck and 
surely the genius which appreciates the work as 
you do, is no less than that of him who 'creates that 
work. 

Percival. {Three artists laugh silently) {Very 
much pleased) Possibly, possibly — but to return 
to the master. 

Otto. Veil, as I was saying, yesterday morning 
he had to be present at meetings of der American 
Association of Temperamental Research, und der 
New York Society fo^ der Promotion of Artistic 
Impulses. After a hasty lunch he laid der corner 
stone for der new Conservatory of Painting und 
den rushed oflF to open der bazaar for der young 



THE GENIUS 39 

womans' auxiliary of der National Confederation of 
Ethical Culture in der fine Arts. In der evening 
he vast given a dinner by der Philharmonic Associa- 
tion — und ven he finally retired he left orders not 
even if der house caught fire he vas not to be 
disturbed until der firemen vere sure they could 
not control der flames. 

Percival. (Taking chair l. of easel) Well, 
perhaps I'd better tell you of a little scheme I have 
originated and you can sound the master with regard 
to it. 

Brian. The master doesn't like schemes. (Sitting 
on table) 

Victor. He says ze vord "scheme" signifies 
deceit, and is distasteful to him on zat account 

Percival. Ah, but my plan will benefit the 
public as well as him and myself. 

Otto. I never saw a scheme yet dot was not 
promoted for der purpose of enriching der general 
public. 

Percival. This is what I want to do ; I propose 
to give a course of lectures on painting, sculpture and 
music, and have Spencer illustrate the points as I 
make them. (All three men blow a puff of smoke 
in the air. The three men look at one another 
blankly. Percival looks at each, each has some- 
thing to do) 

Otto. (On sofa) Veil, you see it would be all 
right — only — 

Percival. Oh, you could persuade him, a man 
who turns out work as fast as he does could easily 
model a bust while I am explaining the fine points 
of sculpture. 



40 THE GENIUS 

Brian. Yes, but he is so shy — you know he 
can never work while anyone is looking at him. 

Percival. He'd soon get over that, with 
practice. 

Victor. I do not believe he ever will. Even I 
have not seen him work on one of his own paintings. 
He only criticises mine. 

Otto. Vy, ve had a letter yesterday from a 
theatrical manager who offered der master three 
thousand dollars a week to act a little sketch in der 
Vaudeville stage, in der course of vich he vas to 
paint a picture, model a statue and compose a 
symphony. 

Percival. That's very much like my idea. 

Otto. Ja, but der master refused rather than 
make a public spectacle of his genius. It's no use, 
Mr. Clutterbuck, he is vone of dose rare flowers 
vich are born to bloom unseen. (As he turns up he 
stops to sigh at the beauty of the painting) 

Percival. Well, if he won't, I suppose he won't, 
but it would have been a wonderful thing. The 
greatest artist of the country working before the 
eyes of the people, while the greatest critic explains 
his work. 

Brian. {Crosses to Percival shaking his head. 
Percival acknowledges each compliment. Brian 
turns up c. adn hack down r.) Sure, ye'd make a 
great team. 

Victor, (l) You are suited to ealch othaire in a 
marvelous degree. 

Otto. {Coming down r.) By — der — vay, I 
hear you have been made a director of der Institute. 
Yes? 



THE GENIUS 41 

Percival. Yes, indeed. It was Providence that 
led me to your studio that morning. 

Brian. It was. 

Percival. I have not only made Spencer famous, 
but by doing so my own position has been made 
secure. Everyone wants my opinion. No artistic 
gathering is complete unless I drop in for a few 
minutes. In a way, I may be said to be the artistic 
Columbus of America. 

Brian. (Down c.) Ye*re going to have a 
remarkable finish. 

Percival. I'm sure of it. Well, I won't wait 
any longer. There is a Directors' meeting of the 
Institute which I must attend. Tell Spencer Til 
drop in later in the day and have a bit of a chat 
with him. (Crosses l. to e.) 

Otto. Ve will do so. Good day, Mr. Clutter- 
buck. 

Percival. (At door l.) Au revoir. And if 
you think there is any chance for that course of 
lectures — let me know. 

Brian. We'll do what we can for you. 

Percival. Thank you — thank you. Good day. 
Good day. (Exit l. to e.) 

Otto. (Up r. ) Ach Gott ! — Ven he finds out. 

Brian. (Down to Otto) From the way things 
are going now, I don't see why he should ever find 
out. 

Victor. (Crosses to c.) You 'can fool all xe 
people part of ze time, and — 

Brian. (To c.) And in the case of Art, part 
of the time means a couple of hundred years. 

Otto. (r. c. by screen) Veil, let's hope for der 



42 THE GENIUS 

best. Ah, here comes Jack. {The door r. 2. e. 
opens and Jack enters. He comes slowly c. as in 
a dream. Jack is dressed in ultra-artistic style, and 
is constantly posing, he comes in slowly posing, then 
assumes his natural manner) 

Jack. (r. c. crosses and turns all around) Oh, 
I thought there was somebody here. 

Brian. No, they're all outside. 

Jack. How many? 

Brian. (Holding up card tray — full) How 
many — 

Otto. We got rid of them all but three — one 
woman and two men. 

Jack. Anyone we know? 

Brian. No, all strangers. 

Jack. How long have they been waiting? 

Brian. (Looking at watch) About one hour 
and a quarter. 

Jack. That's good. Oh, then I'll go through the 
mail first. (Sits R. of table, and Brian opens a 
large pile of letters, first placing large waste basket 
by chair) 

Otto. Jack, you take to der vays of a Genius 
like a duck to vater. (Brian opens letters and 
hands them to him one by one) 

Jack. (Opening letter) Dear Mr. Spencer, 
Would it be too much trouble for you to send me 
your auto — (Throws it into basket) Yes, it 
would. (Opening another) Honored Sir:-I have 
a very fine -collection of autographs. (Victor 
crosses and sits smoking. Throws it into basket; 
takes another) Dear Mr. Spencer:- Will you send 
me one of your neckties for my sofa cushion. I 



THE GENIUS 43 

was introduced to you once three years ago, so 
take the Hberty of asking your opinion of Ruskin's 
theories of Art — {Looking at Brian) I say, 
what's Ruskin*s theory of Art ? (Brian — standing 
back of table) 

Otto. Thirty-two volumes — at two fifty per 
volume. 

Jack. (Handing letter to Brian) Well, tell 
him what I think about them, will you, Brian? 
{Taking another) Although I do not know you 
personally I take the liberty of asking for your 
autograph — {Throws it into basket and takes 
another) Honored Sir:- May we use your name 
for our baking powder — you've risen so quickly. 
{Puts letter in inside pocket) Dear Sir:- Would 
be obliged for your auto — {Into basket. Takes 
another) Oh, I say, boys, listen — this is from 
one of the big weeklies. Dear Sir:- If you will 
draw for us exclusively we will give you one 
hundred thousand dollars for one hundred drawings 
— {Whistle from Brian) to appear, one every 
week during the next two years. What do you 
think of that ? 

Otto. Not enough, other people get dot much. 

Jack. Wait — here's a P. S. {Reads) "In 
case you acept this offer kindly make your letter 
very legible as we would like to use it for advertis- 
ing purposes." 

Otto. {Smoking) Tell him five thousand per 
drawing is der lowest price. 

Jack. {Giving letter to Brian) All right. All 
right you tell him, Brian, I don't want that lie on 
tny shoulders. 



44 THE GENIUS 

Brian. All right. 

Jack. (Opening them quickly and throwing 
them .into .basket) M — m — autograph — 
(Business) auto — (Business) Photo — (business) 
Interviewing daily papers — (Tossing it on table) 
All right — (Yawns) Oh, I'm tired of this — I 
suppose we've got to have those people in. (Tearing 
up letters) 

Otto. Vait a minute. You must have your 
lesson first. 

Jack. (Looking hopelessly at the three men) 
Oh, I say, I learned enough yesterday to carry me 
through this week. 

Brian. Sure, but ye made a bad break yesterday. 

Jack. You mean about Murililo? 

Victor. Mon Dieu ! Yes — 

Jack, Ah, that wasn't so bad. I dont' believe 
anybody noticed it. 

Otto. Du Lieber! Do you know vat you say? 

Jack. Anybody might have said it. How was 
I to know that Murillo wasn't the name of a cigar? 
It sounds just like it. 

Brian. (Crosses behind Jack — stops c. to 
speak) Holy Smoke — and that's the very reason 
ye must keep on with the lessons. Come; are ye 
ready? (Crosses to settee) 

Jack. Oh, well, have it your own way, but I've 
only half studied the thing. (Takes paper out of 
his pocket and hurriedly runs over it while the- 
three men sit in a line as examiners. Brian on 
settee) 

Victor & Brian. Put it away — put it away — 

Otto. Now, put it away, und answer. Vat is 



THE GENIUS 45 

der name of der last symphony you composed? 

Jack. (Rising as though to recite lesson — 
standing c. facing men — fidgeting) Last sym- 
phony ? Let's see — that was the symphony — in 
• — eight sharps and — 

Otto. Ach Gott ! — My boy — der is no sech 
key. 

Jack. No, no, you're wrong, Otto, that was the 
one question I was sure of. 

Otto. But it is impossible. 

Jack. Now, look here — ( Taking piece of music 
from piano) A sharp is one of those tit-tat-two- 
things on the bias, isn't it? 

Otto. Ja — but — 

Jack. Well, I counted them and there were 
eight. 

Otto. (Patiently) No, my sohn, only seven. 

Jack. Oh, well, that's near enough. I didn't 
think one or two made so much difference. 

Otto. (Sighs) Go on, Victor, it's your turn. 

Jack. (c. seeks in pocket for paper) Madonna, 
why — say is that quetsion on this list? 

Victor. (Otto and Brian — "put it away) 
(Sighing) It is. 

Jack. (Thinking) Madonna? Madonna? Oh, 
I know! The Madonna oblogata! 

Victor. (Starts to rise — Brian catches his 
arm) Ah! Mon Dieu! 

Jack. Now, hold on, don't get excited. I get 
three chances, don't I? (Victor sinks back into 
chair) Well, that's only one. Now, wait a minute 
— Madonna — Madonna (Victor — in despair) 

Jack. Now, don't tell me — I was just going 



46 THE GENIUS 

to say it. It's the Sistine Madonna. 

Victor. (Shrieking) Sacre bleu ! — Sistine — 
Sistine ! 

Jack. Sure! that's right. I thought a Sistine 
was just a French name for — a tank. 

Victor. But how would zat make sense? Can 
you not use a little reason? 

Jack. Well, it's all your own fault. You don't 
know how to teach Art. How do you expect me to 
talk sense about a Madonna when I never saw one? 
Say, what is a Madonna anyway? (Otto and 
Brian explode with laughter. Victor throws up 
his hands and tears his hair. Rushes up r. c.) 

Otto. Madonna, my son, means Mother. 

Jack. Does it ? — Why didn't you tell me so in 
the first place, I could have remembered it. You 
know, I'm not really such a chump as you think. 
"Father" is Pa-donna! Then if Mother is 
Madonna — (Victor writhes in agony — up l. c. 
to window) 

Otto. I think you've had enough today, but 
study der same lesson for tomorrow. 

Jack. (Crosses r. c.) Well, you won't catch 
me in Madonna again. My vocabulary is growing 
fast. (Crossing to imaginary person R. c. and 
shaking hands) Good matin — Raphael, how's 
your Madonna? That's all right, isn't it? 

Brian. Sure, Jack — it's wonderful! 

Jack. Good! Now, let's have those people in 
and get it over.. Victor bring on No. i. (Brian 
gives Victor cards. Victor goes to door and calls) 
Ze Mastaire will see Mr. Cyril Farquahar — (Cyril 
enters. Jack goes to easel and takes palette and 



THE GENIUS 47 

brushes; all the men stop smoking. Victor goes 
to door L. 3. E., and opens it. Brian sits at table 
to answer letters. Otto with paper on Divan l. 
As Victor brings in Cyril Farquahar, Jack 
pretends to paint. Cyril is a very young man who 
dresses in rather a Bohemian way, but is apparently 
well off.) 

Victor. (In an awe-struck voice) Zere is ze 
mastaire. (Cyril advances) 

Jack. (With his far away look over his head. 
Victor crosses behind easel) Oh, good atfernoon. 
How is your Madonna? 

Cyril. (Slowly to c.) Mr. Spencer, I've come 
to ask a great favor of you — 

Jack (With a sigh) Yes! (Victor r. of 
easel. Otto l. on settee. Brian at table) 

Cyril. My name is Cyril Farquahar — 

Jack. Pretty name, isn't it? 

Cyril. And for years I have felt the possibilities 
of great things in my soul. 

Jack. (Keeps painting — Politely) That's nice, 
isn't it? 

Cyril. (Stutters) But until now, I have been 
unable to give them suitable expression. (Big 
sigh from c.) Ah, you know what it is to feel the 
fire of inspiration burning within you — 

Jack. (Catching stutter) Oh, yes, yes — I 
have felt it often. He's got me doing that now. 

Cyril. But you can give it immortal form, 
while I am helpless in its grasp. Oh, sir, in the 
name of Art, I ask you to take me as a pu — pu — 
pu — 

Jack. Pupil. (Rises) Why, really, I — 



4B THE GENIUS 

Cyril. Don't say it's too much to ask; I feel 
that I will be worthy of you — 

Jack. Oh, no doubt — but you see the calls of 
Art are so exacting that I have been compelled to 
limit myself to three pupils — one for each of my 
Arts. 

Cyril. Then there is no hope for me? 

Jack. (Coming down to table) I did not say 
that, but do you realize what a jealous Mistress Art 
is? (Aside to Brian) How's that? 

Brian. Great. 

Cyril, (c) Yes — yes — 

Jack. She is not to be wooed and won in a 
week. 

Otto. (To Victor) Dots sounds strangely 
familiar. 

Jack. It means years and years, and years of 
hard work. 

Cyril. Only try me — 

Jack. Well, although I take no more pupils 
myself, I sometimes allow my pupils to take a pupil 
— (Crosses at front to easel) 

Cyril, (c. hands extended — turning to the 
three men) Will you take me? 

Brian. Bring some of your work around to- 
morrow, and we'll talk it over with you. 

Cyril. Oh, thank you ; you won't regret it ; I'm 
rich — (Jack and the three artists shocked at 
mention of money) 

Otto. (In a grieved tone, holding up his hand) 
Please, please! 

Cyril. Oh, Fm sorry — I — I'll see you to- 
morrow. Tomorrow — Tomorrow. (Turns in 
an embarrassed way and bolts out) 



THE GENIUS ^ 

Jack. It's funny what an embarrassing effect 
I seem to have on everyone. {To Otto r. c.) 

Otto. It's vat der papers call your "Wonderful 
personality." 

Jack. All right Victor bring on No. 2. 

Victor. Ze mastaire will se — {Reading card) 
Mr. Cyrus Jenkins. (Cyrus enters. Jack sees 
him coming and starts to paint as before. Cyrus 
is a stout, rather flashily dressed man of th^ 
nouveau riche type. Victor r. c. as before) 

Victor. {As before) Zere is ze mastaire. 

Jack. {As before) Good afternoon. 

Cyrus. {Advancing and grasping his hand) Mr. 
Spencer, I'm proud to know you; my name's 
Jenkins — Cyrus W. Jenkins, of Jenkins & Smith 
— woolen goods — Have a cigar? {Offers it to 
him. Jack starts to take it) 

Brian. {Meaningly — cough) The master 
doesn't smoke (Jack refuses cigar) 

Otto. Or drink — 

Victor. He has never been kissed by a woman. 
(Jack slaps Victor in .stomach) 

Cyrus. {Lookiyig doubtfully at Jack) Is the 
game worth the candle? 

Cyrus. {Looking disgustedly at the artists) I — 
I love Art, Mr. Jenkins. {Aside to Victor) 
ril get even with you for that. (Jack down c.) 

Cyrus. H'm — well, let's go to business ; I want 
to buy one of your pictures. {The three men 
brighten up, but assume an air of indifference, 
Victor crosses to table l.) 

Jack. {Dozvn c.) Oh, yes — well, couldn't you 
come around tomorrow? It's really after office 



50 THE GENIUS 

hours. 

Cyrus. {Down c.) I promised my wife to get 
one for her today. 

Otto, (r) But der sale of von of der master's 
pictures is a matter of National importance — 

Cyrus. Oh, that'll be all right. Til see the 
reporters tonight, you see, my wife is dead anxious 
to butt into New York society, and the best way 
she could think of, was to get one of your pictures 
and then invite all the big people to a private view. 
They'd all come — and then we'd be right in it. 

Otto. Your wife is a brainy woman. 

Cyrus. {Crosses r. slaps Otto on hack) Well, 
I should crack a smile. {Turning to Jack) Will 
you sell me one now, Mr. Spencer? 

Jack. Oh, I haven't the heart to keep Mrs. 
Jenkins out of society {Pointing to small picture — 
at hack) I'll sv^U you — (Victor points secretly 
to picture he wishes sold — Jack takes cue) that 
one. 

Cyrus. Say, that's a real white one of you. 
What's the price? 

Jack. Well, as it's such a small one, I guess a 
fair price would be — {Bus. of whisper) about 
thirty-five dollars. (Jack looks to Victor who 
whipers 35. Cyrus surprised down l. c. sits at 
tahle writing check. Brian and Otto shocked) 

Victor. {With a shriek goes down on his knees 
before Jack — ) Sacre Bleu! Mon Dieu! — 
mastaire, mastaire, — do not give away ze gems of 
your art — we do not vant ze money — but do not 
insult ze priceless work. {Whispers 3500 to Jack) 

Jack. (c. turning to look at picture) You see 
it is not my best work. {Looks critically at picture) 



THE GENIUS 51 

Oh, I don't know, I don't think thirty-five hundred 
dollars is insulting it. (To Cyrus) 

Cyrus. (At table) Oh, I thought you said 
thirty-five dollars — 

Jack. (c. laughing heartily) Yes, but I forgot 
the frame. (Victor up r. wiping perspiration from 
brow) 

Cyrus. (Making out check) Well — (Sighing) 
I hope Mrs. J. will be satisfied now ; when can you 
send it round? 

Jack. (Crosses r.) Why, really, we don't send 
small orders — 

Otto. (To Jack r. c. coming forward quickly) 
We'll send it dis afternoon, Mr. Jenkins. (To 
Jack) You've done enough; you'd better rest a 
vile. 

Cyrus. (Victor to door l. Cyrus rising — 
offering check to Jack who refuses then offers to 
Brian who takes it.) Well, here you are. Good 
day, Mr. Spencer, if you ever want anything in 
woolen goods, just let me know. (Check is dropped 
on floor c. by Brian which Jenkins sees — ■ 
Jenkins up and exits l. 3. e. As soon as Cyrus 
is out, the three artists make a rush for it — regard 
it with glee) 

Brian. Thirty-five hundred — Jack, my Doy, 
you're a wonder; how's your honor feeling now, 
Victor? 

Victor. (To door l. 3. Otto to piano) He is 
feeling much bettaire, thank you. 

Jack. Victor, bring on No. 3. (Victor business 
as before. Victor ushers in Lilly Scott, a bash- 
ful, giggling school girl.) 

Victor. (As before) Zere is ze mastaire. 



52 THE GENIUS 

Lilly. (Giggling and advancing timidly to 
Jack) Mr. — Mr. Spencer — (Giggles — Victor 
crosses down r.) 

Jack. (Turning to her as before) Oh, good 
afternoon. (She giggles. Aside) Good Lord! 
What's this? (To Victor) 

Lilly. I hope you won't think Fm bold. (Vic- 
tor R. of Jack — Lilly c.) 

Jack. (Dreamily) To the artist nothing is bold. 
(Lilly giggles. Aside to Victor) What's the 
matter with her? (Victor reassures him) 

Lilly, (c) No one knows Tm here. 

Jack. (c. — with palette and brushes) This 
is not a proposal of marriage, is it? 

Lilly. What ! Oh — (Bursts into a giggle) 

Jack. (Aside to Victor) I wish she wotildn't 
do that. 

Otto. (Down l. c. To Lilly) It's all right; 
a couple of women proposed to him last week, and 
he's nervous. (Giggle — Business Otto to piano) 

Lilly. The girls said — (Face takes on the, 
giggle hut she smothers it) I wouldn't dare do it. 

Jack. (Politely) Oh, did they? and did you? 
(She giggles) 

Brian. Said ye wouldn't dare do what? 

Lilly. Call on a great man like Mr. Spencer — 
(Restrains giggle) just to ask for — (Giggles) 

Jack. (Aside) I shall swear in a minute! (To 
Lilly) To ask for — 

Lilly. (Struggling with her desire to giggle) 
For — for your autograph. 

Jack. My autograph? (Jack turns to Victor 
then crosses down to table and zvrites; then stops 
and looks at Lilly; she gives a little giggle. Brian 



THE GENIUS 53 

gives him card. Jack looks at Brian, then writes 
on card and gives it to her) 

Lilly. Oh, thank you ever so much. 

Jack. Now, don't lose it. {Crdsses R. c.) 

Lilly. No — Til sleep with it under my pillow 
every night, (c. coming and holding out her hand) 
Good night. 

Jack. {Taking her hand absent mindedly) 
Pleasant dreams. 

Lilly. Oh, (Giggling) I meant good-bye 
(Crosses l. 3. e. and exit, giggling) 

Jack. Yes, so did I — (As Lilly exits giggling 
— Jack giggles nervously. To others) Say, that's 
a new kind. (Crosses c.) 

Otto. Veil, dot's a good morning's vork, eh, 
boys? 

Brian. (Coming in front of table) It's all 
right. 

Jack. And now, how about a spin in the auto? 

Otto. You forget — we have an engagement 
at Mrs. Van Browne-Smythe's Tea. 

Jack. Oh, don't let's go; I'm just spoiling for 
a breath of fresh, inartistic air. (Crosses R.) 

Brian. But the Tea's given in your honor — 

Victor. (In front of easel) You are ze lion 
of ze occasion. 

Jack. (r. c. to 3 men c.) Now, look here; I 
went to two Teas and a reception yesterday, didn't 
I? 

Otto. Yes, you were a good boy yesterday. 

Jack. Then I'm going to be a bad boy today. 
Good Lord ! even a genius is entitled to an occasional 
day off. (Crdsses down r.) 

Otto. Now, Jack, be reasonable — (Three 



54 THE GENIUS 

men follow him) 

Jack. No, I won't be reasonable. Vm sick of 
the whole game. (Crosses l. backing 3 men L.) 
Receptions, teas, luncheons, autographs, photo- 
graphs, interviews, would-be pupils, would-be god 
children, cigars that want to bear my name, brain 
foods that want my head, collars who want my 
neck, tooth powders that want my teeth ; say, if I'd 
known what a time I was stepping into, I'd never 
have begun this genius business. (Back to c.) 

Otto. But it's too late to stop now, und der 
tea — 

Jack. If you say tea to me again — I'll — I'll 
— sing ! 

Otto. (To Jack c.) Ach Gott! — I von't, I 
von't — 

Jack. Go to the darned tea yourselves ; tell 'em 
I'm sick in bed — tell 'em I've eloped ; tell 'em 
anything you please — only get out, and let me 
forget Art exists. 

Otto. But it's so rude. 

Jack. Oh, no, not rude, pardon me — (Sarcas- 
tically) I'm a genius. (Walking them «/> L.) I 
cannot be rude ; the worst I can be is a little 
eccentric; now, clear out! (Crosses down r. They 
start to go. Jack waves them out) 

Otto. Veil, I hope you're in a better temper ven 
ve come back — at present your genius is too 
natural to be amusing. (Jack crosses c.) 

Brian. (At door) And don't forget, Jack, that 
you neither smoke nor drink — 

Jack. (Walking about) Go to the devil. 

Otto. Don't go out, because everyone will 
recognize you. (Jack waves them away) 



THE GENIUS 55 

Victor. And remember you have nevaire been 
kissed by woman — 

Jack. {Takes fez off his head and throws it at 
Victor. The three artists laugh and exit. Jack 
stands c. looking miserable. Looks at his watch; 
then sinks on couch down r.) Four o'clock — a 
beautiful day, and that auto just eating its head' 

off in the stable oh, well — (Sighs, crosses 

and locks door l. 3. e. then raises visor of one stand 
of armour and takes out bottle of whiskey; raises 
visor of other stand, takes out box of cigars, puts 
them on fable; opens bottom of music stand and 
gets siphon and glasses; pours out whiskey and' 
drinks zt'ifh sign of delight , then lights a long cigar. 
Knock is heard. Jack r. with an exclamation of 
disgust, auickly puts things back in visors and 
music stand.) 

Jack. Yes, who's there? {Whistle is heard) 
Why. its Nell. (Jack stops, the whistle is heard 
again, and Jack dashes over to door l, opens it and 
admits Nell zvho is quietly but zvell dressed) 

Jack. Thank Heaven! {Taking both her hands) 
Nell, you're just in time to save my reason. 

Nell. Why, what's the matter? {Both down 
c. Jack r. of Nell) 

Jack. I can't make out wh'^ther I'm a lion in 
an ass's skin, or an ass in a lion's skin. 

Nell. {Laughs) In either case, the other 
animals haven't recognized your voice — Where" 
are Otto and the boys? 

Jack. At Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe's tea. 
I didn't go — because I'm not feeling well. 

Nell. What is it? 

Jack. Inflammation of the genius, I guess — 



56 THE GENIUS 

take off your hat and talk to a fellow. 

Nell. I can talk just as well with it on. 

Jack. No, you can't; somehow, when you take 
off your hat, and make yourself at home here, the 
hard lot of a genius seems a little easier to bear. 

Nell. Well, if you'll be good and let me give 
fou a lesson, I'll stay. (Crosses R.) 

Jack. Won't you let me off today ? {Following 
her) I don't feel artistic — 

Nell. {Sits on settee) No, you mustn't shirk 
your work; now, first, draw me a head. (Jack 
sighs, piits blank canvas on easel, and quickly 
draws in charcoal a caricature head) 

Jack. {As he draws) This is all a fake, any- 
how; I'll never be able to draw anything except a 
bob tail flush, and a check. {Brings it down) 
There, that's the best I can do. One of my 
ancestors — 

Nell. It's rather impressionistic — 

Jack. Yes, ancestor on my mother's side — 
{Puts it hack) Say, how is all this going to end? 

Nell. I don't know — I never thought of that. 

Jack. Well, I've been thinking of it a great 
deal, and the more I think the more difficult I find 
it to get out of the woods ; my reputation keeps on 
growing and there's no stopping the game without 
showing us all to be cheats and swindlers. 

Nell. {Rising) There is only one thing to do 
— you've got a reputation and you must live up to 
it. Come, take off your coat and get to work on 
this clay. (Jack takes off coat and Nell rolls up 
her sleeves — through the next scene they aref' 
working on the clay, Nell instructing him, they 
bring modeling stand down c.) 



THE GENIUS 57 

Jack. (r. of stand) Ah, Nell, youVe doing 
your best to keep a leaky ship afloat. 

Nell. (l. of stand — Intent on modeling) Use 
your thumb — like this. 

Jack. T haven't got a thumb like that. 

Nell. Don't be silly ; you know what I mean. 

Jack. Shall I tell you what I mean? 

Nell. Tell me first how things are progressing 
between you — and Miss Van Dusen. 

Jack. That's easily told — they're not pro- 
gressing at all. 

Nell. Won't she listen to you now? 

Jack. {Rolling little halls of clay and throwing 
them at bust) Well, you see — I - — I haven't 
called on her in over a week, and, oh, — I don't 
think she cares about me. (Business — throws clay 
at bust) 

Nell. But it's not like you to accept defeat in 
this way, after doing so much, too. 

Jack. I don't intend to accept defeat. (Bus. 
slaps clay on Nell's hand) 

Jack. Oh, I beg your pardon. 

Nell. But I thought — 

Jack. Yes, but my plans are all changed now — 

Nell. And you never told me anything about it. 

Jack. I didn't tell anyone. (Looking at her) 
You see, I wanted to ask you first, how girls look 
at these things. (Putting big nose on bust with 
clay) 

Nell. (-l. of stand) What things? 

Jack. (r. of stand) Nell, do you — do yoti 
believe a man's affections can change? 

Nell. Well, from what little I've seen of the 
world — I should think they can. 



58 THE GENIUS 

Jack. What does a girl think of a man whose 
affections have changed? 

Nell. It depends whether they have changed to 
her, or from her. 

Jack. Suppose they have changed to her? 

Nell. Then — it all depends upon circumstances. 

Jack. (Crosses to stand r. c. — Washing and 
drying his hands) The circumstances are that a 
chap thinks he is in love with a girl who doesn't 
care a rap for him. He meets another girl, who 
shows him, for the first time in his life, the charm 
of real womanliness, without knowing it he becomes 
more and more dependent upon her advice and 
tompanionship, until one day he realizes that he 
doesn't love the first girl at all, and that if the 
other goes out of his life — there'll be nothing left 
in it. 

Nell. (l. of stand) We're forgetting the 
lesson. 

Jack. Yes, let's forget it — because I'm the 
chap, and you're the girl. 

Nell. Mr. Spencer, I — (Takes part of towel 
and cleans hands) 

Jack. I'm an awful fool — Have a piece of 
soap — Nell, you're the best influence that ever 
came into my life, don't go out of it — 

Nell. A little more than two weeks ago you 
were planning to marry Miss Van Dusen; you 
didn't even know there was a girl called Nell Gra- 
ham. 

Jack. Of course, I didn't, or I wouldn't have 
been planning to marry anyone but her. (Both are 
in front of stand) Why, when I'd known you two 
days I began to thank my lucky stars that Josephine 



THE GENIUS 59 

had refused me. 

Nell. If you could be mistaken once, why not 
twice ? 

Jack. Now, that's unkind. This is the first 
time in my life I've ever changed my mind about 
a matter of this sort, and you are the last one who 
should blame me for it. 

Nell. Why? 

Jack. Because, you are the cause of it; youVe 
saved the happiness of two lives, Nell — hers and 
mine. She would have been miserable with me, 
and the thought of a whole life full of Art — Oh — 
(Shudders) 

Nell. I've lived in the world of Art all my life. 

Jack. But you've lived by Art, and not for 
Art. When you look at a fine piece of work your 
eyes sparkle and you love it because it's good and 
big, not because "the tone-color reminds you of 
Rubens." (He has wiped the clay off his hands 
and tried to take hers. She draws away) 

Nell. Mr. Spencer. (Crosses l. taking towel 
and sits r. of table) 

Jack. (Holding end of towel and following 
her) Please don't call me Mr. Spencer ; it puts a 
stone wall between us. 

Nell. You really haven't had time to know 
your own mind. 

Jack. (Sits on table) Time isn't a matter of 
days and weeks ; I've wanted you all my life. Don't 
blame me because I didn't meet you till two weeks 
ago. How much time did Romeo need to know 
that he loved Juliet? About ten minutes, and, 
besides, I forced myself to be slow. For a whole 
week I wouldn't let myself believe that you were 



6o THE GENIUS 

the one woman. Don't you see it's a matter of life 
and death ? I want you and me to be chums — and 
the only proper way to be chums is to be married. 

Nell. You are a rich man. I am an artist's 
model — 

Jack. I know that — but it's got nothing to do 
with the question. 

Nell. But don't you see that if I marry you — 

Jack. Now, don't say the old thing about my 
friends not receiving you and all that; we're not 
living in a problem play — this is real life. 

Nell. You will find it more real than you think. 

Jack. My dear girl, I'm not one of those idiots 
who believe that money conquers all things, but the 
fact that I'm rich doesn't prevent your having more 
culture in 3^our little hand than I have in my whole 
body. Why, the first time I ever saw you, I knew 
you were a lady, because you didn't tell me you 
^ere. Come, don't let my money stand between 
us. All rich men are not scamps. I thought I 
cared for Josephine and if I hadn't met you I might 
have gone through life without knowing what love 
was. But I did meet you, Nell, and now I'm free 
to ask you to be my wife. 

Nell. Are you sure I could make you happy? 

Jack. Sure? Sure if you will only say you will 
have me. {Taking her hand) Why, if you'll only 
promise to marry me — {A knock at the door 
interrupts him) 

Nell. {Starting away from him) There's 
someone at the door. 

Jack. Yes, I heard him too — It's not the boys' 
knock. {They move stand up c. Putting on his 
coat, and pausing with it half way on) Ah, Nell, 



THE GENIUS 6i 

don't forget what I just told you. (Another knock 
interrupts him, and he quickly finishes putting on 
his coat) Say, wait until I get rid of him, and 
then we'll go on with the lesson where we left off. 
That's the worst of a studio. Everyone comes 
right in whether he's wanted or not. 

Nell, (r) Who is it? 

Jack. (r. c.) Whoever it is, I'll get him out 
in two minutes. Wait behind the screen. 

Nell. Why should I? — 

Jack. It would have been all right for us to 
have been alone together before I was a genius, 
but geniuses seem to have a difterent code of 
morals, and — (Leading her toward the screen) It's 
all right for them but rough on the girl. 

Nell. Still — I don't see — 

Jack. You don't know how these people talk. 
What is all right on Washington Square is most 
improper on Fifth Avenue. 

Nell. (Down r.) I don't like to hide as if I'd 
done wrong — 

Jack. Then there's only one alternative — 
either you must go behind that screen or let me 
tell them we're engaged to be married. 

Nell. Oh! Well — I'll go. (Toward screen) 

Jack. I'd rather tell them we're engaged. 

Nell. No, that would look like a sacrifice on 
your part. 

Jack. Nonsense! (Nell goes behind screen) 
Well, I won't be a minute. (Knock is repeated. 
Jack calls out "all right" and starts to open door. 
Loud) Yes, yes — (Jack goes and opens door, 
admitting a woman heavily veiled) 

Miss Trevor. This is Mr. Spencer? 



62 THE GENIUS 

Jack. {Nervously) Er — yes — {Putting on 
his manner) Good afternoon. {Taking a few 
steps R. c.) 

Miss TrevOr. Are you alone? 

Jack. {Looking around as if half frightened) 
er — yes — {Crosses down r.) 

Miss Trevor. {Sits l. r. of table) Can you 
spare me a few moments on a confidential matter? 

Jack. Er — yes — {Aside) I wish I'd gone to 
the tea! I had a bad dream last night — they 
always come out — 

Miss Trevor. Mr. Spencer, in my whole life 
IVe never done anything which would make the 
world better for my having lived in it. 

Jack. (r. c.) Oh, I'm so sorry — 

Miss Trevor. Life has been a mad whirl of 
social functions. 

Jack. {Aside) How tactless! 

Miss Trevor. But when I first saw your 
wonderful work in painting and sculpture, I knew 
that, at last, a field was open to me — 

Jack. {Crosses c.) But I don't take pupils. 

Miss Trevor. You don't understand me; fate 
has been very generous to me in the matter of 
physical charm. 

Jack. {Looks around nervously) Ah, indeed! 
{Crosses r. c. sits on settee) 

Miss Trevor. {Crosses to Jack — taking off 
her hat and veil with it) My friends have told me 
that if I would consent to pose, the artist would be 
inspired to great things. I've thought it all over 
and decided, that just as your gifts belong to the 
ATorld, mine belong to you. (Jack thundetstruck. 
Sitting beside Jack) Will you not make me the 



THE GENIUS 63 

model of your next picture? 

Jack. Why, thank you, really, I don't think — 
(With a sudden thought) You know my next 
picture is a — a little conception of the Creation. 

Miss Trevor. The Creation ! A subject worthy 
of you! 

Jack. — and the only figures I show are — 
Adam and Eve — at twilight. 

Miss Trevor. Well, as to Eve? 

Jack. {Twirling string of gown) Yes, but, of 
course, I can only use professional models. 

Miss Trevor. And yet it seems a pity that you 
should be driven to use mercenary people in a work 
like that. 

Jack. Yes, but, of course, it can't be helped. 

Miss Trevor. Suppose I show you — (Business 
picking handkerchief) That there is one woman 
who, for the sake of Art, can rise above the con- 
ventionalities. 

Jack. (Rising — Taking her meaning) What! 
(Aside) Tve called a straight flush! 

Miss Trevor. You are an artist and you will 
understand, that is all I ask. (Jack crosses l.) 
Of course, I must come to you secretly. 

Jack. (c. Miss Trevor rises) But — 

Miss Trevor. And even you must not know my 
name, (Drawing a sigh of satisfaction) Well, 
that's settled. (Jack is too dazed to speak) Now, 
when do you want me to begin? 

Jack. (Sits on chair r. of table) I — I don't 
know — I — (Aside) Four years from next 
March — Oh, why don't those men come back? — 
I'm getting so nervous. 

Miss Trevor. (Rising) I will be ready at any 



64 THE GENIUS 

time; this afternoon — if you wish. {Crossing to 
him) 

Jack. (Jumping up) No, no not now — I 
haven't got my ideas together. I I — (Des- 
perately — back to settee) don't you see you're 
disturbing my atmosphere? 

Miss Trevor. Then I'll leave you — (Putting 
on her hat) and remember, no one is to know but 
you and I. 

Jack. You need have no fear, I'm just as 
much ashamed of it as you are. 

Miss Trevor. (Crossing to door) I'll come 
in every day to find out when you're ready to 
begin — au revoir ! (Exit) 

Jack. (Going up c. As door closes) No, no, I 
won't begin for months, for years, I may never 
begin — (Looks at door) Oh, Lord! What a life! 
(Knock at the door. Jack opens door admitting 
woman heavily veiled. Working down c.) I'm 
very sorry, madam, but I have all the models I can 
possibly use; if you will send me your name and 
address, I'll let you know the first vacancy that 
occurs. I'm very sorry, but, of course, I didn't 
know you were coming — (Bowing) Good day. 
(The woman removes her veil and is discovered 
to he Josephine) Josephine! (Jack glances at 
screen and seems to he ill at ease) 

Josephine. Jack, are we alone? (He sees 

Nell's hat and throws it over screen) 

Jack. Didn't you bring a chaperone? 

Josephine. No, what I have to say is for no 
other ears than yours. 

Jack. Then we'd better wait — I — I expect 
my friends back every moment 



THE GENIUS 65 

Josephine. (Crosses to table l. sits) I left Mrs. 
Van Browne-Smythe's as soon as they arrived. I 
had to see you, Jack ; I hope you do not think me 
unmaidenly in coming to see you? 

Jack. (Getting more and more uneasy) Nothing 
is unmaidenly that is done in the cause of Art. 

Josephine. But this is a personal matter. 

Jack. (Aside) My finish! 

Josephine. I've just found out why you've 
avoided me for the past week. 

Jack, (c) Oh! (Looks toward screen and 
squirms) 

Josephine. You were afraid, now that you are 
famous, that your attentions might compromise me, 
but I, too, have been thinking, and decided that 
rather than ruin the happiness of two lives, I would 
come to you and disregard the conventionalities — 

Jack. (Crosses r.) Eh? What? How do you 
mean ? 

Josephine. (Rising and following to c.) By 
telling you that I regret my foolish words, and will 
accept your offer of marriage — (Jack too dumb- 
founded to speak, sinks on sofa) It was noble 
of you to conceal your genius, but, after all, was it 
quite fair to me? 

Jack. (To her c.) Josephine, what you are 
saying is very flattering to me, but you're deceiving 
yourself. You don't care a rap for me. 

Josephine, (l. c.) You are cruel — 

Jack, (c) No, really, suppose that after all, 
I knew nothing of Art, that I were the plain Jack 
Spencer you used to know — 

Josephine. My eyes have been opened, and I 
can see your soul — 



6$ THE GENIUS 

Jack. Can you — where? 

Josephine. Whether or not you can create with 
your hands, I can see for myself the soul of a great 
artist. 

Jack. {Crosses r. c.) But, my dear girl, you're 
deceiving yourself. My soul hasn't changed a bit. 
I've got the same old soul I've had for years. 

Josephine. {Following to c.) Ah, Jack, I have 
a woman's instinct, which tells me what you are. 
For years I have been waiting for the perfect man 
— and now I know you are he. 

Jack. {Coming c. turning on her^ Who told 
you that? 

Josephine. Everyone knows that your lips have 
never been touched by woman. 

Jack. {Turning away) I'll kill that damn 
Frenchman. 

Josephine. {Crossing to him) That is why I 
know you would understand if I came myself — to 
bring you my answer. {A loud knock at the door, 
up L. c. Josephine starts) Oh, we're discovered! 
Jack, hide me. {Crosses l. above table) 

Jack. {To c) Why, it's all right. 

Josephine. No, no, I mustn't be found alone 
with you. 

Jack. Why not? We've done nothing wrong. 

Josephine. No, but if a girl is found alone with 
a genius, her reputation is ruined. 

Jack. {Indignantly) No — I don't believe it. 
(Looks at screen) 

Josephine. It's true — ah, you must hide me! 

Jack. {Crosses r. 2.) All right. Here — 
(Crossing to R. 2. E.) In this room. (Josephine 
starts to go in — then recoils with a cry) 



THE GENIUS 67 

Josephine. (Starts back) Oh, — no, no — 

Jack. What's the matter? 

Josephine. It's a bed room! 

Jack. (Desperately) I can't help it; you don't 
expect me to sleep in the park do you? 

Josephine. (Crosses l. c.) Oh! I couldn't go 
in there? 

Jack. (Falling to c.) It's the only place IVe 
got. (Another knock) 

Josephine. (Seeing screen) Ah, I'll go behind 
this screen. 

Jack. (To r. c. Stopping her) No, no — not 
there ! 

Josephine. (They dodge each other) Yes — 
yes — Let me go. Jack — 

Jack. No, no, you don't understand. It might 
be improper on Washington Square, but it's all 
right on Fifth Avenue. (Knock) 

Josephine. They're coming in — my reputation 
— (Tries to go to screen) 

Jack. (Holding her back) Who would dare 
say anything against it? 

Josephine. (To him behind settee) Jack. 
There's only one alternative — you must announce 
our engagement! 

Jack. What? No, not — not so soon, that is, 
we're not engaged — (Another knock) 

Josephine. Then I will go behind that screen. 

Jack. No, no — I take it back; I'll tell them 
anything you like. 

Josephine. (Front of settee — Calming down 
and going down r.) Very well. Open the door. 
(Jack, with an agonised look at the screen goes 
and opens door. Percy comes in) 



/. 



68 THE GENIUS 

Jack. (With slight surprise) Oh, how d'ye 
do, Clutterbuck. I thought I heard someone knock. 

Percival. (Coming l. c. Jack c.) Knock! I 
should say you did! (Seeing Josephine) 

Jack. You are knocking so much better. 

Percival. Why, Josephine, where is your 
mother ? 

Josephine. At Mrs. Van Browne-Smythe*s — 

Percival. (c) Surely, you have not been rash 
enough to come alone to a studio — (Turning to 
Jack) Spencer, how could you permit her to do 
so? 

Jack. Permit her — Gosh! (Up stage c.) 

Josephine. (To Jack) But it's all right, 
Percy; Jack and I have decided to announce our 
engagement. (Head on Jack's shoulder) 

Percival. Your engagement. (Turns to Jack 
who is forced to nod) 

Josephine, (l. c. Crossing to Percy) Congratu- 
late me, Percy; Fm the happiest girl in the world. 

Percival. (l. Mournfully) I congratulate you 
both. 

Jack. (r. More mournfully) Thank you. 

Josephine. And now I must be going back to 
Mrs. Van Browne-Smythe's. Mamma and I will 
stop for you on the way home, Jack. 

Jack. (Despairingly) All right. 

Josephine. Good-bye, Percy. (Turns and 
holds out her hands to Jack. In a tone full of 
love) Good-bye, Jack. My Genius. (Holds out 
both her hands) 

Jack. (Takes her right hand absent-mindedly, 
shakes it, then takes left same business) Good- 
bye — 



THE GENIUS 69 

Josephine. (At door) But only for half an 
hour. (She exits. Jack classes door and comes 
down R. c. Percy at table) 

Percival. Spencer, you must be a very happy 



manr 



Jack. (r. c.) Yes, mustn't I? 

Percival. {To c.) You know what my feeling 
toward her has been; but you've beaten me fairly. 
{Holding out his hands) Be good to her, Spencer — 

Jack. {Crosses c. Taking his hands — Both c.) 
Clutterbuck, don't give up hope, old man, you've 
still got a chance. 

Percival. What do you mean? 

Jack. A girl as young as Josephine doesn't 
know her own mind — she may really care more 
for you. 

Percival. Even if she does, I cannot, in honor, 
make iove to my friend's fiancee. {Crosse's and 
takes hat from table) Good-bye, Spencer; I came 
to talk business, but if you don't mind, I'll put it 
off till tomorrow. {Up to door.) 

Jack. I don't mind. 

Percival. {Up to door l. 3. e.) You see I really 
thought quite a lot of that girl. {Sighs and exits. 
Jack crosses l. c. turns and Nell comes slowly out 
from behind screen) 

Jack. Nell, I — I don't know what to say to 
you — 

Nell. (c. Trying to smile) There is nothing 
to be said. 

Jack, (lc.) You must despise me — 
Nell. (c. holding out her hand) You poor 
boy, you did it for me. 

Jack. {Taking her hand) Nell, you're the best 



^ THE GENIUS 

little Pal a man ever had. (She starts for door 
L. R.) You're not going to leave me? 

Nell. I must. 

Jack, (l) But you'll let me see you tomorrow — 

Nell. (Shaking her head) No — 

Jack, (l) You don't mean our friendship has 
got to stop? 

Nell. It is better for us both that it should. 

Jack. But, Nell, it's the best thing in my life. 

Nell. You must put it out of your life. 

Jack. But it's you I love — you! 

Nell, (c) You are engaged to Miss Van Dusen. 

Jack. I can't help it — (Crossing R.) I didn't 
want to be — (Turns to her) I won't marry any- 
one but you. She knows I don't want to marry 
her — 

Nell, (c) You have promised, and she will 
hold you to your word. 

Jack. It's all this genius business. I'll denounce 
myself as an imposter ; I'd rather go to prison than 
marry her. 

Nell. You mustn't break faith with the boys. 

Jack. And if I remain famous she'll make me 
marry her. Confound it! I don't want to be a 
human sarcifice to Art. Oh, Nell, isn't there any 
way out of it? 

Nell. No — Good-bye — 

Jack. (r. turning to her) Nell, you can't leave 
me alone in this horrible world of Art. I'm like a 
child in a desert. 

Nell. Oh, you can manage without me now. 

Jack. (Going to her) I'll never be able to 
manage without you as long as I live. (She starts 
to go, he takes her hand) Only tell me one thing 



THE GENIUS fi 

— Do you care, too? 

Nell. You mustn't ask me — that — Good- 
bye — 

Jack. Not good-bye, Nell, just — so long — 
{He stands c. watching her off — "Nell" — He 
presses her hand, and she exits quickly l. 3. e. He 
pauses and waves to her from the door, then closes 
the door, goes up to the window and waves from 
there, then turns and begins to get angry. He rips 
off his coat and throws it down, reachets inside door 
R. 2. E. and gets out automobile hat and coat; while 
he puts them on, sticks a cigar in his mouth, and 
meanzvhile the three artists enter l. 3. e. laughing 
and talking. They stop on seeing Jack) 

Otto. {Rushing over to Jack) Jack, my boy, 
I congratulate you. 

Brian. {In line with Otto) So you've brought 
it off at last. 

Victor. {In line with Brian) Miss Van Dusen 
is waiting for you down stairs. 

Otto. But vat are you doing? 

Brian. Sure, he's breakin' the rules. 

Victor. Ze automobile, mon Dieu! He will be 
recognized ! 

Otto. Jack, vere are you going? 

Jack. {Through his teeth) I'm going to the 
stable, and I'm going to have that auto loaded up 
to nozzle with gasoline, then I'm going carefully 
through this town, till I get out into God's country ; 
then I'm going to pull that lever as far out as shell 
go, and make up for two weeks ; I'm going to leave 
a line of dust half across the state, and I'm coming 
back when I get ready. {To door) 

Victor. But your promise to us — 



/ 



72 THE GENIUS 

Jack. Oh, 1*11 keep my promise. 

Otto. But your fiancee — 

Jack. Fiancee — be damned — (Rushes off 

L. 3. E.) 

-:- Curtain -:- 

2nd Curtain all three artists heads out door back 

to audience 



THE GENIUS 73 

- :- The Genius - :- 
ACT III 
TiUE:-One week later. Music at rise. 
SCENE:- Art Exhibition Room in New York City. 
The stage shows one of a connected series of 
art rooms. Large arch R. 2. e., and l. 2. e. 
leading into rooms R. and l. Entrance at back 
on extreme l. leading into room devoted to 
sculpture, and through this entrance a glimpse 
is caught of several pieces of sculpture. The 
room is richly hung, and all entrances have 
portieres. Large circular settee, such as used 
in art galleries up c. Small settee R. and l. 
The entire back wall is covered with pictures, 
most of those in Act i being used. Pictures 
on L. wall. Piano standing below R. arch. 
Cyril. {Entering upper l. with Cyrus. To 
Cyrus) It was very generous of you, Mr. Jenkins, 
to lend your Spencer to the exhibit. 

Cyrus. {To c.) Oh, I couldn't refuse. The 
Committee called on my wife and asked her for 
it. {They stroll around together and off R. 2. E.) 
Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. {Enters right upper 
with Percy. Down c. to Percy) Yes, this exhibi- 
tion is a positive triumph for you, Mr. Clutterbuck. 

Percy. For me? tt j • 

Mrs Van Brown-Smythe. (r) Yes. Had it 
not been for you, Spencer might still have been 
hiding his light under a bushel ; the world of Art 
can never pay you its debt of gratitude. 

Percy (r. c. Complacently) Oh, you flatter 
me, Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe; What I have done 
in the way of giving him help and advice, h^s 
perhaps aided him a little. (Miss Trevor rises up 



74 THE GENIUS 

and off R. slowly) 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. A little! why, 
everybody knows he owes his present position to 
you alone. Your discovery of him has made you 
the critic of New York. 

Percy. To the trained eye — (Indicates painting) 
His talent was quite self-evident. There is no 
credit due me for discovering that, (Walking) but 
ir has gratified me very much to see how my friends 
have upheld my opinions. 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. (Indicating two 
pictures — l.) Why, could anything be plainer 
than the genius of his work? Only compare his 
painting with his pupil Le Mercier. Some people 
have said that their styles are similar, but we who 
know can see the difference, the wonderful transi- 
tion of tones, (Josephine and Mrs. Van Dusen 
enter r. crosses to c. The instant Josephine enters, 
Percy up c.) the depth of conception in every 
stroke of the brush, mark the master, while the 
work of his pupil is, after all, mere imitation. (By 
this time the others have strolled off R. and l.) 

Mrs. Van Dusen. (Crosses l. c. To Mrs. Van 
Brown-Smythe.) Why, my dear how do you do? 
(She talks zvith Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe) 

Percy. (To Josephine) You have not yet 
publicly announced your engagement? 

Josephine. No, Mamma wanted to refurnish 
the drawing-room first. 

Mrs. Van Dusen. (To Mrs. Van Brown- 
Smythe) Mr. Spencer himself gave me the color 
scheme pink plush against pale green wall paper. He 
is so delightfully original in these matters. (Jack 



THE GENIUS 75 

enters through arch l. down c. Looks rather haggard 
and unkept. As sooyi as he appears all four people 
rush to him, Mrs. Van Dusen l. of Percy, and 
Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe l. of Mrs. Van Dusen 
Josephine r. of Jack. Lilly jumps up and stands 
admiring Jack, then off R.) Oh, there you are! 
How do you do? I was so afraid you weren't 
coming — everyone has been waiting for a glimpse 
of you, etc., etc. (Jack tries to greet them all at 
once, and smiles in a sickly way) 

Jack. (Coming a little below ottoman c.) Good 
afternoon, good afternoon — 

Percy. Your three pupils were asking for you. 
{Exit Cyril and Lilly r. 3. e.) 

Jack. Don't tell them I'm here; I wish to say 
a few words to Miss Van Dusen before I see them. 

Percy. Oh, very well, we'll leave you alone 
together. (To the two ladies) Come, ladies, let 
me show you the new piece of sculpture only cast 
yesterday. (Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe bows to 
Jack up l. with Percy. He leads Mrs. Van Brown- 
Smythe to L. u. E.) 

Mrs. Van Dusen. (Crosses to Jack) Remem- 
ber, you can be seen from both sides. 

Jack. (l. Looking at her blankly) Yes, but — 

Mrs. Van Dusen. (Shaking her finger at Jack 
and laughing) Oh, a word to the wise; your 
engagement will not be announced until tomorrow. 
(Join the others and exeunt l. u. e. Jack turnls to 
Josephine, who has seated herself on settee c.) 

Jack. (Way down r.) Josephine, there is some- 
thing I want to say to you. 

Josephine. (On circular settee) Yes, come 
here and tell me. 



76 THE GENIUS 

Jack. (Sitting by her, hut keeping as far away 
as possible) You may have noticed that my manner 
during the last week has been absent — pre- 
occupied — 

Josephine. Yes, I have noticed it, and I knew 
there was something on your mind — something 
that stands between the perfect affinity of our souls. 

Jack. A term you used the other day has been 
ringing in my ears, and I must tell you the truth. 

Josephine. The truth? 

Jack. Josephine, I am unworthy of you. 

Josephine. Ah, you must let me judge of that 

Jack. You said you had been waiting for the 
"perfect man" and that you had found him in me. 

Josephine. (Looking at him lovingly) Yes. 

Jack. You were never more deceived in your 
life ; that is why I would not touch your lips — I 
wished you to know all — 

Josephine. All ! What do you mean ? 

Jack. I don't know how to tell you — 

Josephine. (The idea dawning on her) Have 
you a past? 

Jack. Yes, that's the word; I have more pasts 
than I can remember. (Josephine rises, crosses 
down c. Jack rises — following. He looks hope- 
ful) Now you know why I am unfit for you; I 
will not drag you down to my level — and I release 
you from your promise to me. (Josephine slowly 
turns and looks at him, then holds out her hands 
which he is forced to take) 

Josephine. Forgive me — 

Jack. Forgive you! For what? 

Josephine. For shrinking from you. 

Jack. (Trying to release his hands and hack 



THE GENIUS 77 

away from her) You were right. Don't try to 
save my feelings — Oh, when I think of what I 
am — I shrink from myself. 

Josephine. No, I was wrong ; I did not realize 
that genius is not like the common herd. (Jack 
releases his hands) There is nothing wrong in 
your admiration of other women. 

Jack. ( Crosses down l. ) But, you don't under- 
stand — 

Josephine. (Following him) I am a poor, 
ordinary woman; my brain is not sufficient to be 
your sole mental companion; no one woman can 
supply the feminine compliment of a soul as large 
as yours. No, I will not be jealous of them. 

Jack. But I tell you I'm thoroughly bad {Crosses 
R. c.) I haven't told you half — I'm a drunkard — 
a gambler — I walk in my sleep. 

Josephine. (c)What would be bad in the rest 
of the world, is only your freedom from the narrow 
laws of men. 

Jack. But, my dear girl, I'm a brute; if you 
marry me I'm sure I should beat you — I'm subject 
to fits of unreasonable rage ; I walk in my sleep — 
(Crosses to c.) 

Josephine. (Follows) No, I wont' listen to 
another word — we must learn to forgive each 
other little things. 

Jack. Little things? — 

Josephine. Yes, in the light of our perfect 
understanding all these external facts are very 
small. (Jack up to ottoman c. — Josephine 
following him) and I will help you overcome 
temptations. If you strike me, I shall know it is 
not you, but just a physical reaction from your 



«■■ 



78 THE GENIUS 

work. (Jack sinks in settee. Josephine looking 
off R. 2. E.) Here come your pupils, I'll go to 
Mamma. Now don't think about it any more ; you 
should have trusted me from the first. (Turns and 
exit L. 3. E. Enter the three artists r. 2. e. They 
stop as they see Jack) 

Brian. (Crosses to ottoman) Ah, there ye 
are ; how did ye get away from the crowd ? 

Jack. They haven't seen me yet. 

Otto. (Below Brian) Veil, cheer up, anyhow, 
I don't know vat is der matter lately — ever since 
you told me of your engagement you haf been 
silent — and blue. 

Victor. (Below Otto) But et is good for ze 
business, you haf nevaire looked so like a genius 
before — 

Jack. . I guess you'd look blue if your last hope 
had just gone out that door. 

Otto. Vy, Has Miss Van Dusen broken her 
engagement ? 

Jack. (Rising) No, hang it all! She won't. 
I've told her I'm everything from a wife beater to 
a horse thief, but she thinks that being a genius 
makes up for everything. 

Brian. (Coming down c. with Otto and Vic- 
tor to settee r.) Why, do ye want her to break 
the engagement? 

Jack. (On settee l.) Say, are you men blind? 
Can't you see that my one thought is to make Jose- 
phine throw me over? I can't go back on my 
word — 

Victor. (In front of settee r.) But vy haf yott 
changed your mind? 

Jack. Boys, I've got a confession to make. 



THE GENIUS 79 

Otto. Don't tell it to us, write it; it vill bring 
in more cash than all der three arts together. 
(Crosses to settee r. and sit) Ve can call it "Con- 
fessions of a Genius." (Three artists sit on settee 

R.) 

Jack. Don't hit a man when he's down — I'm 
serious. 

Otto. Veil, vot is der confession. 

Jack. (Rising and crossing to c.) I'm trying to 
break off my engagement with Miss Van Dusen — 
because I want to marry Nell Graham. (The three 
men look at one another amazed. They rise) This 
genius business has got everything balled up. 

Otto. So; now I see vy Nell has been so quiet 
for der last veek. 

Jack. (Eagerly) Has she? Do you think she 
cares ? 

Otto. And you haf made lofe to her vile you 
were engaged to this Miss Van Dusen? 

Jack. No, I haven't. The minute I became 
engaged, I stopped seeing Nell. 

Otto. (Crosses to Jack c. Brian to Otto's 
place) So — you play with our little girl — by 
tarn! dot's too much. Vee help you vin Miss Van 
Dusen, and you repay us by making our Nell un- 
happy. 

Jack. Now, go slow, old man, I asked Nell to 
marry me and — 

Otto. You asked her to marry you! 

Jack. Yes. 

Otto. Gott in Himmel! How many women do 
you vant to marry, anyhow? 

Jack. (Getting angry) One, damn it all! 

Otto. (Crosses l. Pointing out l. u. e.) Then 



8o THE GENIUS 

go and marry der only von you haf any right to. 

Jack. Oh, Fluff! (Takes Otto by his lapels 
and sits him on settee l.) Now, be quiet and let( 
me talk sense for a minute. My being a genius is 
the only thing that makes Josephine want me; if I 
could try and win Nell. Very well, it is perfectly 
plain then that I must cease to be a genius — 

Brian, (r. c.) But our agreement. 

Victor, (r) Ze promise not to betray us. 

Jack, (c) That's the point. You must release 
me from that promise ; the only way that this mess 
can be cleared up, is for me to denounce myself as 
an imposter. 

Victor. (Sits on settee r.) But, mon Dieu! It 
will ruin everything. 

Jack. I can't help it; I won't marry any one 
but Nell — unless I'm carried to church on a 
stretcher ! 

Otto. If you denounce yourself as an imposter, 
you may be — 

Brian. Sure, we'll get a good laugh out of it, 
anyway, and if Jack really wants to marry Nell — 
why, (Looking Jack up and down) she might do 
worse. 

Otto. I suppose you know vat you are doing? 

Jack. Sure! I'm throwing off my old man of 
the sea; I'm getting out of Art — Josephine will 
hate me, and I'll be plain Jack Spencer once more^ 

Otto. But vat can ve tell der public? 

Jack. Tell them the truth. 

Victor. Mon Dieu! It is not professoinal eti- 
quette. 

Brian. Well, if your mind's made up, I guess 
we don't want to hold you — and we're rich men 



THE GENIUS 8i 



now. 

Otto. Sure, if you vant to tell der public vat 
a liar ve are — go ahead ! 

Victor. (On settee r.) Eet vill be our revenge 
on Clutterbuck. 

Jack. Poor Percy! These last few weeks havc*^ 
given me a fellow feeling for him. 

Otto, (l) Now listen; ve vill agree to let you 
denounce yourself on two conditions. 

Jack, (c) Anything you want — what are 
they? 

Otto. (Rising c. to Jack. All rise) First, 
you must not speak of love to Nell till you are free,. 

Jack. Well, of course not. 

Otto. And second, you must let us break der 
news to Mr. Clutterbuck, and tell him vat is going 
to happen aftervards. 

Jack. Afterwards — what do you mean? 

Victor. (Crosses R. c. to Jack) My friend, 
you are a brave man; not many men would risk 
telling ze American people zat he had made a fool 
of zem. 

Jack. Ah, but I won't put it that way. 

Brian, (r) That's the way they'll take it, sure, 
they'll be like wild animals. 

Otto. Don't you remember vat happened to der 
false pretender in Russia? 

Jack. No. Did something happen to him? 

Otto. Dose he had deceived first killed him, 
und den threw him down to an awful fate at der 
hands of der waiting populace. 

Jack. (Faintly) Perhaps I'd better treat the 
whole matter as a joke. 

Brian. If ye can, by all means. Come on, boys, 



82 THE GENIUS 

my tongue is swellin* with the things it wants to 
say to Clutterbuck; (They go up l. u. e.) 

Victor. (Embracing Jack and then taking his 
hand) Adieu, my friend, we will often think of 
you. (To others) 

Jack. Don't say it like that; I haven't struck 
the morgue yet. (Victor shakes his head sorrow- 
fully. To Otto) I'll give you ten minutes with 
Clutterbuck, and then — 

Otto. Und den — der avalanche! Now, (Rising 
for door l. 3.) vere is dot Clutterbuck? (The 
murmur of crowd heard off r.. They go off l. u. e. 
Jack goes softly over the r. arch and peeps through, 
shakes his head, then slowly feels his arms, assuming 
boxing attitude and makes a few feinting and side- 
steppings. Exit r. 2. e. Nell with written letter 
enters l. 2. e. calling) 

Nell. Jack, Jack ! Fancy my calling him Jack, 
and yet why shouldn't I, we have known each other 
over three weeks. (Dress business. Business with 
letter) "Nell dear — Don't forget tonight's the 
night! Come around early and see the animals 
feed. Clutterbuck has had his evening clothes 
varnished, and has promised to make all these Art 
critics look like thirty cents. Many of the four 
hundred will be on hand, also some ladies of the 
Old Guard, with fur hats and tin skirts, it certainly 
looks alluring. 

I hope the new gown fits, my typewriter put it 
on for me yesterday, and I dictated letters to absent 
friends as she strolled about the office. 

I sent her home with a bottle of Omega Oil at 
6 P. M. Do come ! it's an eternity until we meet 
— Thine, — Jack." 



THE GENIUS 83 

Jack. (r. c.) Ladies and Gentlemen, I wish 
to speak to you on behalf of my confreres, etc. 
(Without seeing who it is. Recognising her) Why, 
Nell — I beg your pardon. 

Nell, (c) What on earth are you doing? 

Jack. Just rehearsing for a speech IVe got to 
make, but I didn't expect to see you here — 

Nell. I came to see the boys' work. What 
(Crosses down l. to settee) are you going to speak 
on? 

Jack. I'm going to show the white feather ; the 
boys have released me from my promise, and Fm 
just going to quit the game. 

Nell. You're going to tell the public that you're 
a what shall I call it ? 

Jack. Don't let's call it anything. 

Nell. They won't be so considerate — (Sits) 

Jack. (Crosses to settee l. sits beside Nell) 
Anyhow, I'm going to do it, because it's the only 
Way that leads to — (Stops embarrassed) 

Nell. To honor? 

Jack. We'll call it honor for the present. But 
Nell, I can tell you this much; for the last week 
I've done nothing but miss the good old times — 

Nell. Of two weeks ago? 

Jack. You can laugh at me, Nell, but my whole 
life consists of the two weeks when you came to 
the studio. Ever since you left it, the place has 
been gloomy. Nobody's kept his temper and — 
well, the meaning has just gone out of life — that's 
all 

Nell. (Rises and crosses R. c.) Come, we 
mustn't talk like that, it's against the rules. We 
must just let bygones be bygones, and be good 



84 THE GENIUS 

friends when we meet. 

Jack. (Rises to 2. c.) It seems to be easy for 
you Nell — but — well — Let's wait and see what 
happens when I tell the world I'm only a fake. 

Nell. I'm afraid they won't like it. 

Jack. That's what the boys said, but I've got 
to go through with it — or die a single impostor. 
(Enter Otto l. u. e. He has his handkerchief in 
his mouth; rushes across, sinks on divan c. and 
removing his handkerchief bursts into a roar of 
laughter. Nell r. of settee. Jack l. of it) 

Otto. Ach Gott ! Ach Gott ! Oh ! (Laughs) 

Jack. I'd give fifty dollars to be able to laugh 
like that. 

Nell. Don't keep it all to yourself. What is it? 

Otto. Ach, dose boys, dose boys! I couldn't 
stand it; I had to leave. 

Jack. Had to leave what? — you idiot. 

Otto. Victor und Brian. They are telling 
Clutterbuck vat der people vill do to him ven you 
denounce yourself. Der poor chap is half crazy. 

Nell. It's a shame to scare him so. 

Jack. Do you mind pointing out to me just 
w^here the humor comes in? 

Otto. If you could have seen his face — talk 
about imagination — dose boys worked on his 
feelings until he believes dat you und he vill be 
lynched. Oh, it vas so funny — (Laughs. Jack 
sitting and rising business) 

Jack. (l. Trying to laugh) Yes, that would be 
quite a good joke on both of us, wouldn't it? 

Otto. (Up l. ) Dey are coming in here — Come, 
fJell, you must see der sport. (Taking her l. to 
Jack) Ve vill come back und be in at der death. 



THE GENIUS 85 

Nell. (Coming over and offering her hand) 
In case I don't see you again till it's all over, I wish 
you good luck. 

Jack. Thank you, Nell — I do, too. 

Otto, (l) Now, be careful. Jack. Don't do 
anything in a hurry — 

Jack. {Up r. ) Oh, I'm tired of being careful. 
{Murmur) I don't care if the whole place blows 
up. I'm going to tell the truth and take the conse- 
quences. Oh, Lord! Here comes the crowd. 
{Darts out r. 2. Otto and Nell off l. The crowd 
begins to fill up the stage) 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. {Entering zvith 
Cyrus l.) Yes, I give my little Artistic Teas every 
other Wednesday. I would be delighted to have 
you and Mrs. Jenkins drop in. 

Cyrus. {Down to c. then crosses to r. c.) Thanks, 
we'd be tickled to death. I'm not much of an artist 
myself. (Otto and Nell enter l. followed by 
Brian and Victor. Otto, Brian and Victor 
smothering laughter. Brian l. c.) 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. Oh, since you 
secured your Spencer, the papers allude to you as 
"The well-known Patron of Fine Arts." {They 
talk aside, Otto, Nell, Brian and Victor on and 
down L.) 

Lilly. {Enter r. crosses to c. below ottoman. 
With Cyril r. c.) And he looked at me with his 
beautiful brown eyes and said, "To the artist 
nothing is bold." Oh, it was so sweet, I just wanted 
to cry. 

Cyril. {To Brian) But where is the master? 

Brian. One moment! Oh, he'll be here. I 
think he's going to give us a little talk on Art. 



86 THE GENIUS 

(Crozud exclaims with delight. Percy rushes on 
wildly L. u. E.) 

Percy. Spencer, where is Spencer? — Ah ^ — 
(Meets Jack c. who enters r. u. e. and seizes him) 
Spencer 

Jack. {Putting him off) Not now, Clutterbuck, 
I've got a speech to make. 

Percy. No — you must hear me ! What is this 
foolish story your pupils have been telHng me? 
{Others have stopped with a sort of hushed awe 
as Jack entered. They now talk in whispers among 
themselves. Percy and Jack down r.) 

Jack. You mean about my being a swindle? 

Percy, (r. c.) Yes, yes! 

Jack, (c) That's not foolish; it's the sober 
truth. 

Percy. {Noticing the crowd) Hush! They'll 
hear you! 

Jack. I'm going to tell them in a minute — 

Percy. No, no, you mustn't. We'll pretend to 
be talking about that picture. {Points to picture L. 
and gesitculates. The crowd watches every move- 
ment) Don't you see, it will prevent your winning 
Josephine ? 

Jack. {Looking righteous) I will not win her 
— by fraud. 

Percy. But it will prevent my winning her, too. 

Jack. How so? 

Percy. I have called you the genius of the 
country; my artistic reputation is at stake. If you 
go — I go. 

Jack. Well, I'm sorry, old man, but I don*t 
really see what I can do. 

Percy. Spencer, you haven't the heart to ruin 



THE GENIUS 87 

me in cold blood! 

Jack. My dear boy, I didn't tell you the work 
was great — you told me. (Percy makes a gesture 
of despair and crosses R.) Besides, you can tell 
them you were mistaken, that, upon reflection, you 
don't think the work is as good after all. We all 
make mistakes. (Crosses l. near piano) 

Percy. (Quickly to l.) But, you don't under- 
stand. A critic is not allowed to make a mistake. 
What he says, he has to stick to. 

Jack. Oh, you can find some way out of it ; the 
people will find out anyhow, that Fm only an ordi- 
nary sort of man. (He, by accident, sits on piano 
and makes a discord. Immediately the buss of the 
crowd stops, and everyone listens intently, with an 
expression of complete happiness) 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe (To Mrs. Van 
Dusen) What a wonderful dissonance! 

Cyril. (To Lilly) He's explaining a point in 
harmony. 

Josephine. (To herself) He has reached the 
soul of music! (All talk) 

Percy. (To Jack. Movement toward c.) 
There, you see — look at that crowd! Do you 
realize the adulation, the position you are ^ving 
up? 

Jack. (Toward c.) You just bet I do! I 
haven't made an honest movement for three weeks, 
but it's got to stop. I'm going to get my ammuni- 
tion and then the fun will begin. I'm sorry for 
you, Clutterbuck, but I've got a duty to perform, 
and when I think of these last three weeks, the 
devil and all his angels shan't stop me. (Rushes 

off L. I. E.) 



83 THE GENIUS 

Otto. (Coming over in front of settee l. to 
Percy) Veil, haf you convinced him? 

Percy, (r. c.) He won't listen to reason; he's 
determined to ruin us all. 

Otto, (c) But you should haf some influence 
over him, you who haf guided his genius from 
childhood, who tenderly trained his budding talents 
und den revealed dem to der admiring populace? 

Percy. Stop ! Stop ! You'll drive me mad ! 

Otto. Dot vould be a pity! Der vorld cannot 
afford to lose such a skillful critic! {Crosses to L. 
of settee l. Victor l. Enter Jack with large, flat 
parcel. Percy rushes to him) 

Brian, The Artistic Columbus of America. 

Percy. {Wringing his hands) My reputation — 

Jack. I can't help it ! I have a duty to perform. 
(Percy down r. Jack crosses l. in front of settee, 
then turn speak to Otto) Say, Otto, hold 'em 
back all you can, I'm going to begin. 

Otto. Veil, I'll do vot I can, but be careful. 
{Joins Victor, Brian and Nell. Percy sinks in 
despair on bench r. Jack crosses to l. and turns 
io address the crowd) 

Jack. Ladies and Gentlemen — (At the first 
words the crowd is absolutely silent) I — I have 
an important announcement to make — {The 
crowd does not move) There have been so many 

nice things said about my about the work you 

see around you, that it is only fair that you should 
know — that — I — that is — {Coughs) I say 
that it is only just — that I should tell you — that 
— I — didn't do it; in fact, I'm not a genius at 

all — and never painted a picture in my life 

{A murmur from the crowd; they begin talking 



THE GENIUS 89 

excitedly) I want to apologize for appearing to 
deceive you, but, in short, Vm glad you like the 
work of my three friends. 

Otto. By tarn! He's done it now — 

Mrs. Van Dusen. What does he say? 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. He is not a genius? 

Cyrus. Absurd ! 

Cyril. His three friends! 

Miss Trevor. Nonsense etc. 

Percy. (r)No, no, listen to me. 

Crowd. (Turning to Percy) You told us he 
was a genius. We have your word for it; what 
have you to say? etc. 

Percy. (Standing on settee r.) Yes, I told you 
he was a genius, and I've made a mistake. 

Crowd. No, no. What — mistake — no. 

Percy. Then I maintain that he is a genius. The 
very speech he is making proves it. Since you force 
me, I will tell you what is the matter. My poor 
friend has been thinking over his new picture of 
"The Creation" until the depth of his thoughts has 
unhinged his mind! (The crowd amazed, talk 
excitedly, putting their hands to their heads, etc.) 

Jack. (Mounting settee l.) No, that is not 
true ; I am as sane as you are, but I am not a genius, 
I am an imposter; I don't know anything about 
Art! I don't know the difference between a water 
color and an aqua marine ! 

Percy. You see, his modesty has taken an acute 
form. 

Crowd. Yes, yes — that's it! 

Jack. Don't listen to him; I ought to know 
whether I am a genius or not. I didn't paint one 
of those pictures 



90 THE GENIUS 

Crowd. Your name is on them — you signed 
them. 

Jack. Yes. I am a liar — a thief — a stealer 
of reputation, an unprincipled scoundrel, but not 
a genius! 

Percy. You see he is raving mad — 

Crowd. Yes, yes, poor fellow, so young, etc. 

Jack. (Becoming wild) But, I tell you, I'm 
not mad. Great Scott! Don't you know the 
difiference between a mad man and a damn fool? 
(Lilly giglges) Confound it all — I tell you the 
plain truth for the first time in weeks, and nobody 
believes me. What's the matter with you people? 

Cyrus. Oh, he's getting violent — 

Cyril. Send for an ambulance. 

Jack. I never saw such a pack of idiots in my 
life. If you won't believe me, look here — (Hastily 
taking parcel and unwrapping head he drew in 
Act II) Maybe this will convince you — (Showing 
it to them) there, this is a specimen of my best 
work; I never did in my life anything better than 
that. If that's what you call Art, I'm the greatest 
artist that ever lived. 

Percy. (With a shriek of joy crosses L. c.) Ah, 
he admits it ! The master's own hand betrays him ; 
don't you see this could never be done by anyone 
but a genius? Look at the wonderful motion, the 
bold, yet suggestive treatment! The depth of 
meaning in every line; it has all the fine points of 
a Millet with the originality of a Spencer! 

Crowd. Yes, yes, we see — wonderful! Superb! 

Jack. (Throwing picture away, rushes to settee 
c, and leaps on it) You thick headed flock of 
sheep, don't you see he's talking Tommy rot? He's 



THE GENIUS 91 

making fools of you. I don't know what a Millet 
is, but if Tve got it I didn't mean to. I'm giving 
you the sober truth. Why, up to three weeks ago, 
I never saw the inside of a studio. 

Crowd. No, no — Clutterbuck knows — you 
are mad! 

Jack. No, no, I'm not mad, but damn it all, 
you'll make me mad in a minute, if you don't listen 
to me ; you ought to see I'm not lying. No lie was 
ever so hard to tell as this. 

Percy. (Crosses c. r.) The frenzy is coming 
on; leave him with his pupils — {The crowd begin 
to go out R. 2. entrance shaking their heads, saying : 
'Toor fellow/' etc.) 

Jack. (c. shrieking) But I tell you I'm a fake, 
an ordinary, everyday, common fake, (Turning to 
the three artists) Boys, tell them I'm a fake. (r. 
B. Brian up among crozvd. The crowd turns to- 
ward Otto) 

Otto. Ja, he is a fake — 

Percy, (r. who has hurried among the crowd) 
That's right, humor him or it may get serious. 

Jack. (Among crowd r.) No, don't humor 
me. People, people, don't leave a fellow creature 
branded as a genius without raising your hand to 
save him. I'm not fooling you, I'm a real fake. 

Percy. (Among crowd l. ) Humor him ; tell him 
he is a fake. 

Crowd. Yes, yes, you are a real fake. (To each 
other) 

Cyrus. Poor young man. 

Mrs. Van Brown-Smythe. So much geniu5. 

Miss Trevor. Abnormal, — etc. (The crowd 
off, Jack expostulating with them) 



92 THE GENIUS 

Jack. (Getting hold of Cyril and Cyrus) 
Here, you two, don't you believe me? 

Cyril. (Almost in tears) Ah, master, be calm, 
you'll feel better tomorrow. 

Jack. Oh, you ass! (To Cyrus) You see I'm 
in earnest — 

Cyrus. It comes from giving up too many 
things; I was afraid somethin' would happen to 
you. (Exit with Cyril. By this time every one is 
off except Nell and the three artists. Percy has 
restrained Josephine from going to Jack, and 
taken her off. Cyril and Cyrus are the last to go) 

Jack, (c) Of all the concentrated, double- 
barrelled idiots I ever saw these people are the 
champions ! Not one of them believes me, I wonder 
if, Good God ! Maybe I am a genius. (He sinks 
on central settee in despair. Otto comes to him. 
Victor and Brian down r.) 

Otto. Also! I always said you could not tell 
vat der public vould do next — (To Nell) Tie 
up dot picture. It is worth its weight in gold. (She 
does so) I congratulate you — 

Jack. (Looking at him) Huh! 

Victor. (Coming forward) We felicitate you. 

Jack. I suppose you mean that there is no 
danger now of our ever being discovered. That I 
have been branded a genius, and in spite of all I 
can do, I will remain a genius as long as I live! 

Brian. But, it'll be much easier than before, 
sure, you can do anything you want to now ; your 
reputation is so firmly established that ye can't 
harm it. 

Jack. (Starting up) But I — I (Turning to 
Victor and Brian) Boys, ask Nell to promenade 



THE GENIUS 93 

\vith you, I've got some things to say to Otto which 
are unfit for her to hear 

Brian. {Up r. c.) Come, Nell. (Nell joins 
the tzvo men, and they go out r. 3. e. leaving Jack 
and Otto. Jack turns to Otto) 

Jack. Otto, look at me — hard — {He does so) 
I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you 
to tell me the truth. 

Otto. Haf you not had enough of der truth for 
von day? 

Jack. No, I must know one thing more. {Coming 
down c.) 

Otto. Veil, ask me — 

Jack. Is there anything in what those people 
say? 

Otto. You mean about your being mad? 

Jack. No, no, I mean during the last three 
weeks it isn't possible that I may have become a 
genius, without my knowing it. (Otto bursts into 
a loud laugh) 

Otto. {Down to settee l. — sits) Ach Gott! — 
du Heber! — A Genius Oh! {Laughs) 

Jack, (c) But I might as well be — I set a 
trap for Josephine and I've fallen into it myself. 
Think of it, Otto, I'm doomed to live for Art — 
Art for breakfast, dinner and supper — and all the 
time I've got to realize that I'm nothing but a sort 
of Peroxide blonde — Oh, Otto, you've taught 
young girls music for twenty years — you ought 
to know something about them. 

Otto. Ja — I do — 

Jack. {Crosses r.) Isn't there any way I can 
convince her that if she marries me, she ruins both 
our lives? 



94 THE GENIUS 

Otto. (Crosses c.) Veil, dere is von scheme 
you haf not tried. 

Jack. What is it? 

Otto. You must fight fire mit fire: you must 
convince her that her interests of Art demand, 
demand dot she gives you up. 

Jack. By Jove! Otto, I never thought of that! 

Otto. Tell dot marriage and genius do not mix. 

Jack. Yes, I see the idea, Otto, I believe you've 
struck it. 

Otto. Tell her she must be der Beatrice to your 
Dante. 'I 

Jack. I don't know who Beatrice was, but I'll 
play her across the board. Now you just get her 
in here and then come back in ten minutes with 
Nell in one hand and a bottle of carbolic acid in the 
other — I'll need one of the two. 

Otto. (Up l. c. Starting up) All right. (Stops) 
Here she comes now — looking for you — 

Jack. (r. c.) Who, Nell? 

Otto, (c) No, Josephine. Und she has a hungry- 
look in her eye. 

Jack. Wait, stay here and help me create the 
proper atmosphere. (Grabbing him and pulling 
him down R.) Let her overhear — I'll give you 
the cue. 

Otto. But above all things she must think you 
love her madly. 

Jack. Trust me. Look out, here she is! (He 
changes his manner as Josephine enters l. u. e., 
and pauses on seeing the two men talking. They 
pretend not to see her. Wildly, sinking on settee) 
No, no, Otto, I cannot give her up — 

Otto. (Above settee) Oh, master, think of 



THE GENIUS 95 

your Art. 

Jack. Art ! What is art to me compared to Jose- 
phine ? 

Otto. (Josephine up l. c.) Art is everything 
to you, you do not belong to yourself, but to der 
vorld. 

Jack. (Otto to l. of settee) But, Josephine — 
(Rises, hand on Otto's shoulder) Ah, Otto, you 
do not know what you ask. 

Otto. Master, you know in your heart dot you 
must give her up. 

Jack. (Turning r.) No — no — 

Otto. If you do not tell her so (As though 

to go w/> L.) I villi 

Jack, (r) What ! You would tell that sensitive 
soul that our marriage cannot take place? No! 
Sooner than have her hear one word of this — I 
would kill myself ! (Facing front) 

Otto. (Majestically) And your Art? (Aside 
to him) Go ahead, be convinced now. 

Jack. (Sorrowfully) True, true. But oh, I 
wish I could spare her the pain of it. (Sinking on 
settee) 

Otto. If she is your real inspiration, she vill 
be der first to tell you dot your life must be given 
to your vork. 

Jack. (Springing to his feet — alarmed) And 
can I never marry? 
j O'lTO. (Up c.) Yes — but not your inspiration! 

Jack. Yes, yes, you are right, but oh, how can 
I tell her — It would — (Turns and pretends to 
see Josephine for the first time) Great Heavens! — 
Josephine — 

Josephine. (Coming down l. c.) I have 



96 THE GENIUS 

heard — 

Jack. (Turning away — in a voice broken with 
grief) You — have heard. 

Josephine. Everything ! 

Jack. (Waving Otto away) Otto, leave us. 
(Otto silently exits r. u. e.) 

Josephine. (c)Is it true? Must I give you up? 

Jack. It is for you to say. You can be my 
wife — or my inspiration. 

Josephine. Why can I not be both? 

Jack. Because I am a genius, and as soon as a 
genius marries his inspiration — it stops inspiring! 
(Turns away) 
GAL— 25 

Josephine. Is that true? 

Jack. It is more than true — it is artistic. 
(Down R.) You must be the Beatrice to my Dante. 
If you marry me, the romance will go out like a 
candle. (Crosses to c.) Oh, don't you see that a 
genius, because he is a genius, must marry a woman 
and not an artist? He must have someone to cook, 
and darn his socks. 

Josephine. Oh, don't — (Crosses l. c.) 

Jack, (c) I am cruel only to be kind. It means 
even more to me than to you. But you ican imagine 
the effect of a genius seeing his inspiration in curl- 
papers 

Josephine. Yes, you are right. I never thought 
of that before. Why, marriage is the worst thing 
that can happen to Art. 

Jack, (c) I give you my word, Josephine, that 
if you marry me, you will find my Art will soon die. \ 
If you wish to believe in my genius, you must not 
see me after Tuesday. 



THE GENIUS 97 

Josephine. No ? 

Jack. (Gently) It is for you to choose, Jose- 
phine. But if Art is the biggest thing in your Hit, 
you must give me up — 

Josephine. (Facing front enraptured) Then, 
I could make my life a sacrifice to Art. 

Jack. You have a chance to be a sort of Joan 
of Art. 

Josephine, (c. With growing inspiration) Yes, 
yes. I will do it. (Taking Jack's hands) Oh, thank 
you, my friend, for showing me the true way — 

Jack. There is one more thing — Percy 

Josephine. Ah, don't speak of him now. 

Jack. Yes, for this is the last time I may ever 
talk to you. He loves you, Josephine. Your souls 
are congenial, and it would make me happy to know 
that you returned his love — 

Josephine. It would make the sacrifice complete. 

Jack. Yes 

Josephine. Then I will marry him — (Enter 
Otto and Nell — stand at back) 

Jack. (Taking her hand) Thank you — Good 
lady, and now farewell. (Dropping her hands — 
crosses l.) 

Josephine. Do not grieve, believe me, we will 
both be happier. 

Jack. (Percy enters. Crosses down to R. c.) 
I am sure of it. (Josephine crosses to Percy r. 
u. E.) Percy, take her, my boy, make her happy 

— 23. 

Percy. Joesphine, what is the matter? 
Josephine. (To him — starting off R.) Come 

— my engagement is broken. 

Percy. Then I want to tell you that for yes^rs 



98 THE GENIUS 

I have (They exit r. u. e.) 

Jack. {Following them to r. c.) Phew! Otto, 
if I ever in my life tell another lie — (Otto and 
Nell come down) 

Otto. Veil vot has happened? 

Jack. (r. c.) Josephine has chosen Art and 
Percy, and thrown me over. Tm going to retire 
permanently and let you pupils carry on the work. 

Nell. (l. c.) As pupils of Spencer, your future 
is assured — 

Jack. Yes, but I want to talk about my own 
future. 

Otto, (c) Veil, in der first place — 

Jack. Otto, if you're looking for the ice- water 
— you*ll find it in the front room — (Music cue 
ready) 

Otto. Ice-water ? 

Jack. Yes — out that way — (Points out R. u. 

E.) 

Otto. (Taking the hint) Oh, excuse me. 
(Exits L. u. E.) 

Jack. (Taking Nell's hand as she starts to 
move away) Nell, I told you Td lose no time the 
minute I was free. Come, let's go somewhere and 
forget that Art exists. There's a real world out 
there, full of real men and women, and real happi- 
ness and sorrow. Let's go and live in it and be 
real people. Life is calling to us, Nell, will you 
come? Will you? 

Nell. Will I what? 

Jack. Oh, you know — go on — 

Nell. (Turning to him) Yes Yes. (Jack 

takes her in his arms. The three artists come on at 



THE GENIUS 99. 

back. They see Jack and Nell, cmd turn their 
hacks, pretending to discuss the pictures) 
-:- Curtain -:- 



m 



BILLETED. 

A comedy In 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwoorf. 4 

males, 5 females. One easy interior scene. A charming comedy, 
constructed with uncommon skill, and abounds with clever lines. 
Margaret Anglin's big success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy 
to produce and popular with all audiences. Price, 60 Cents. 

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 

A comedy in 3 acts. By James Montgomery. 5 males, 6 females. 
Costumes, modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 2J4 hours. 

Is it possible to tell the absolute truth — even for twenty-four hours? 
It is — at least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," 
accomplished the feat. The bet he made with his_ business partners, 
and the trouble he got into — with his partners, his friends, and his 
fiancee — this is the subject of William Collier s tremendous comedy 
hit. "Nothing But the Truth" can be whole-heartedly recommended 
as one of the most sprightly, amusing and popular comedies that this 
country can boast. Price, 60 Cents, 

IN WALKED JIMMY. 

A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z. Jnffa. 10 males, 2 females (al- 
ough any number of males and females may be used as clerks, 
:.). Two interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Plays lYi hours. 
he thing into which Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, 
hen the clerks had all been fired, and' when the proprietor was in 
rious contemplation of suicide. 

Jimmy, nothing else but plain Jimmy, would ha-<re been a mysterious 
gure had it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and 
is everlasting humanness. He put the shoe business on its feet, won 
le heart of the girl clerk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped 
iat_ place as a permanent boarding house himself, and foiled the 
'll^in. 

Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature, just 
dash of excitement and more than a little bit of true philosophy 
lake "In Walked Jimmy" one rf the most delightful of plays. 
Jimmy is full of the religion of life, the religion of happiness and 
the religion of helpfulness, and he so permeates the atmosphere with 
his "religion" that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimism, good 
cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull 
moment in any of the four acts. We strongly recommend it. 

Price, 60 Cents. 

MARTHA BY-THE-DAY. 

An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author 
of the "Martha" stories. 5 males, 5 females. Three interior scenes. 
Costumes modern. Plays 2J/^ hours. 

It is altogether a gentle thing, this play. It is full of quaint hu- 
mor, old-fashioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who see 
the play will recall and chuckle over to-morrow and the next day. 

Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book for 
stage service, and in doing this has selected from ner novel the most 
telling incidents, infectious comedy and homely sentiment for the 
play, and the result is thoroughly delightful. Price, 60 Cents- 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City 

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